New Year... New Resolutions

I have a bunch that I doubt I'll have problems sticking with. Some have to do with me personally, others have to do with my role as mother and wife. 

New Year’s Resolutions are::

1.       To Get fit by working out 2-3 nights a week

2.       Be a good mother to my children, to be involved in all their activities

3.       To participate in the FRG as much as possible and to have a good influence on it.

4.       To make the transition during our PCS move to Missouri as seamless as possible

5.       To be more understanding as a wife when it comes to the Army and all the ways they disappoint

6.       To be more productive when it comes to home life and our social life.

7.       To get more involved in church and bring faith into my children’s lives.

8.       To make my family my number one priority.

9.       To get pregnant by the end of the year.

10.   To take time for myself and focus on my own interests

11.   To put my camera and photography skills to good use.

12.   To get a puppy sometime this year. 

I plan to make this year, 2012, the best year of my life. I hope that I can make it my marriage stronger, my kids happier, my life better. 2011 was a blessed year, but with faith, hardwork and all that I intend to make 2012 just as good. 

This is my year. This is my life. I love it. I love my husband. I love my kids and most of all, I love that I am becoming who I am meant to be. 

Love, 

For now and Forever, 

Leah 

Good-Bye 2011

2011 is coming to an end. And this year, I can't help but count my blessings. I am married to a wonderful man, have two beautiful kids who are just the lights of my life, and a life that I never expected in a million years.

When Steve came home from deployment, I was the happiest I'd been in a long time. I thought that life couldn't get any better. I have my hero home. Safe and sound. I mean, when you talk about blessings that's the number one on my mind.

Then, after meeting his family, after realizing that I am not what they expected, and yet, still having him love me, to need me in his life, that was another blessing I didn't see then, but I do see now.

Shortly after that, he proposed to me, and I had a wedding to plan. And second to my wedding day, that was the best day of my adult life without having childbirth involved.

And then on November 11th, I married my husband and became an officer's wife. I woke up the next morning to being a wife, to having a husband who is the love of my life. Who is a million and one things that I can't even begin to describe.

And now, being married, being an army wife... there are so many blessings. I have more now than I had before.  I have a good life. Even my husband is worthy of pride. He received the bronze star. How could I not be a proud wife?

And my children, they love him so much. They see the uniform of the US Army and it reminds them that they have family everywhere. Aunt Becca, Aunt Catie, Uncle Campbell, Uncle Palmer... etc. The wives and the soldiers. To them, just like it was to me, they are all family.

Christmas was filled with joy and love and yes, lots of gifts. I was blessed more than I can even type. My children got a wonderful Daddy, who loves them. I have a husband who would do anything to see me smile, who overlooks my flaws to focus on my good qualities. To me, I won the man lottery. I found the best man and I am blessed.

So, it's time to say good-bye 2011... I look forward to what 2012 means.

Operation Iraqi Freedom... over.

The Iraq war is over. I've been thinking about it, trying to understand how I feel, trying to process the past 8 years in a way that conveys how much was lost compared to how little I feel was gained.

My father fought in the first Gulf War. And as I grew up, he went other places, but for some reason I never thought about it. He was one of the first in Afghanistan and went to Iraq for OIF as well. My friends died in Iraq, I lost so many people I loved there. I worked at LRMC, watching Vets suffer from so many different wounds and causes. I wondered how to keep strong then and now, I wonder how to validate all the costs versus the rewards. Are there any rewards when we leave a war as if we never did anything at all?

Yes, we got some justice for the people of Iraq who were persecuted and killed relentlessly by Saddam. And yes, we captured alot of insurgents and put them away, allowing a new government to form in it's place, mildly corrupt versus the outlandishly corrupt one that stood before. Yes, we built schools, roads, hospitals, gave the Iraqi people more freedom than they had known in Saddam's time. I just wonder for the American men and women who served and died, what did we gain? People claimed we fought for oil but, like most conspiracies, that one died on it's own path. They claimed we were the corrupt ones and we weren't. People protested the wars and the funerals of our Soldiers and Marines, Sailors and Airmen. People wasted their right to freedom and abused it by slandering the names of the men and women, blaming them for the war in the first place.

I have always said if you disagree with war, you should still support the men and women fighting it. They didn't choose a war to start but they sure as hell were going to fight to win. I just wonder where the win is, if there is any at all. It's a solemn feeling, remembering those that died in combat and those that came home and died by their own hand due to the PTSD they suffered from unseen war wounds. I pray it's worth it.

Even Steve wonders if it was worth everything. We talked about it and both of us feel this uneasy feeling about leaving. Hoping we didn't leave too soon, hoping the evil doesn't sprout from the ground where good men fought and died. Hoping that the loss of life is worth the freedom for the children that will grow up there. Will they know how much we fought for? Will the Iraqi people forgive us for our wrongdoings, when we obviously are not perfect, and thank us for our actions that were just and mighty? So many questions still linger as there is no longer a war in Iraq to fight. So many possibilities, bad and good, fill a future that no one can know.

As I think about the loss and the ending of a war, I hope you remember the Troops who fought in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Whatever happens, remember them and their families. This War cost more than just money, it cost lives and it cost people innocence. Children grew up faster because their fathers went to war, Children became adults when they recieved the news from the Military that their loved one was dead. Wives became widows, husbands became widowers. Mothers and fathers became childless. Pets became ownerless. That's the true cost of war. Please remember them.

All my wedding photos (almost)