perfect

Sunrise
Sunset
I bet
One minute before
One minute after
It all looks the same
Bright gold and purple
With a slight touch of blue
In the sky
In me
In you.

You think she's better than me?

She is so not better than me. She's just a disease. I thought you were worth loving and I was wrong. Any girl who falls for you should be warned. You are capable of destroying a girl's soul and heart with words of encouragement and actions of love followed by silence and neglect.

Smiles

smiles are hard to fight when you feel special to someone

and tonight you made me feel special to you

thank you for the smiles, you never fail to inspire

the confidence you fill me with, and the sound of your laugh

the way I feel so comfortable and melt into your slight accent

I hope you always inspire this feeling of overwhelming smiles

the way you make me laugh, the way you make me dream

I sing these country songs and dream of you dancing with me

all the little messages pass between us, like notes back in school,

little jokes and private laughs only made for us two

this smile is just firmly on my face, inspired only by you

you are a hero and I am awed

I hope that this will be good, maybe this will be love

maybe this is all like luck, go all in to find it

I am a foolish girl to feel like this

But I'd rather be a fool than the girl who never tried...

and until I have to stop, I'll be smiling at every note passed,

at every conversation, the sound of your voice, laugh, smile

I'm not angry anymore

I have let go of his ghost. He no longer haunts me. I am ready for a fresh start. Maybe with that Soldier who seems really amazing and smart. He's an officer which is rare for me but I think, maybe, there's potential. At least I hope to hell there is potential. He seems pretty awesome so far. We just started talking but we'll see.

he doesn't deserve me.

i know that that's what everyone's been telling me for months, and ive known it was true. but now i feel it. i feel it in my heart that i am too good for him. he wasn't any good for me. he hurt me, he rejected me, he made the corners of my soul cave in. he made me happy for such a short time, and even then it was full of ups and downs. and i deserve better than that. i deserve a boy that loves me, that truly knows me fully and completely and is in love with every bit of me. i deserve a guy that always wants to be with me and will do anything for me. i deserve a man who makes me happy.

and i believe he exists. i believe now that someday, i will find my perfect match. i haven't been optimistic in months. i've spent so much time alone, dwelling on him, on the one that broke my heart. and i haven't been able to see that this isn't the end. i'm young, i have the rest of my life ahead of me. one day, i will find that person and we will fall crazily and madly in love. he exists. and it's okay if i don't find him anytime soon. i'm not going to go out there and search for him. because you know what? i do believe in soulmates. i believe that everyone has someone made just for them. and today, today i felt that hope inside of me. that i will find my soulmate. and that this guy, this stupid guy that broke me is not him. so why am i wasting my life crying over him? from now on, i'm just going to let go. i know i won't completely get over him right away, but i'm not going to spend any more time sitting at home when i could be living my life. i'm letting go of him because i don't need him.

i'm going to live. i'm going to have a love for life. and i'm going to be happy.