It will always be

God if you're listening please

Dear God, if you're listenin please

This is me, prayin for him

I'm all right so don't worry 'bout me

My Hero's fighting a fight so far away

I worry each passing day

So God if you're listenin please

This is me prayin for him

Protect him and keep him safe

Never let him feel alone

Grant him peace and remind him

He needs to come home to my loving embrace

Days pass slowly but my prayer never changes

Days and nights pass by

but the clock never seems to fly

I keep prayin

I keep waitin

My love wont ever fade

Just like my prayer it won't change

Dear God if you're listenin please

This is me prayin for him

I'm all right so don't worry about me

My Hero's fightin a fight so far away

Not a moment goes by he's not on my mind

Let him feel my love 'cross miles of ocean and land

I pray for his safe return

Give him the hope and comfort you can

Dear God if you're listenin please

this is me prayin for him

I'm beggin if you hear me

Protect him and grant him peace

Keep him safe 'til he returns to me

Days and nights pass by

but the clock never seems to fly

I keep prayin

I keep waitin

My love won't ever fade

Just like my prayer it won't change

God if you're listenin please

Dear God, just listen to me

This is my only prayer

I'm not prayin for me

I'm beggin if you can hear

Protect him and keep him safe

Bring him home to my lovin embrace

Dear God if you're listenin please

see me down hear on my knees

Dear God, if you hear me

This is me prayin for him

Let him feel my love 'cross miles of ocean and land

Remind him I'm waiting, I'll never stop waiting

Keep him safe til he returns to me.

Dear God, I keep prayin

So if you're listenin please

Keep him safe til he's home with me

Remind him I'm waiting, my love's not fading

Dear God if you're listenin please

This is me prayin for him

I'm beggin if you can hear

This is my only prayer

Lay your head down

Lay your head down, Love

Dream sweetly tonight

I'll watch over you

Til Morning Light

I am mesmorized

Caught under your spell

I adore you more

Than words could tell

I'll protect your heart

with all my might

Lay your weary head down

And dream sweetly tonight

my favorite lines he's ever written

July 1, 2010

"I don't know how effectively I conveyed my thoughts, but you are in my head alot. I love that I have a little part in  you becoming who you really want to be."

July 25, 2010

"I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the point when he made Pearl Harbor and that is an awful lot girl."

Aug 29, 2010

 "I love every letter you write me. Just seeing the letter makes me smile. I miss you and hope I get to talk to you soon."

Sept 4, 2010

"I miss ya, can't wait to hold ya."

Sept 5, 2010

"I wish I could talk to you more and hear about everything in real time... So when all your topsy-turvy moving around ends and you are settled somewhere, where do you want our first get-away to be? Start thinking because there is still alot of the world and U.S. I haven't been yet and we need ideas. I can't wait to see you  and go somewhere with you. Even if it's just a park, because parks have grass and clouds, two things we don't have here. I miss ya, can't wait to hold ya."

Oct 27, 2010

"I think of you often and I can't wait til we see each other again."

Oct 30, 2010

"I think we can be really good for each other for a really long time. I miss holding you, I miss you wanting to be closer to me. I miss just walking around and talking to you. For me, you are the perfect mix of the cute girl, sexy girl, smart girl, shy girl, bold girl, and lady girl. ... You are wonderful, not perfect but perhaps perfect for me. My parents won't approve of you; tattooed catholic girl who wakes me up in the middle of the night... I think you are cute and sexy, but I'm also turned on by how your mind works and the level of common sense you have ... I miss you. I miss your smile. I miss your hot little body squirming in my arms. I miss how you taste and smell. All of this will make us seeing each other again that much better."

'Ps. is this all crazy? yep, but normal people's lives suck, I'd rather be crazy."

Nov 10, 2010

"The sexy photo you sent me tonight is up on my laptop monitor. I really want to just pick you up and hold you and kiss every part of you. But I'm stuck here in Afghaniland with a bunch of dudes, definitely my loss."

Nov 15, 2010

"Seeing you last night on Skype was awesome. I went to bed with a smile. :P I just wanted to reach out and touch you or just pull you through the screen into Afghanistan or Jump through to New York. I like the hair brunette but you can make it pretty much any color you want. Your goofy smile was beautiful and I loved the way you looked in the tank top. I really wanted to just touch your soft skin and feel your hug" ... "I miss you, I can't wait to see you again. I really want to hold you and just spend time with you talking about whatever stuff. You are incredible and I feel fortunate that you want to be with me. Eventually I'm going to let you down in some way or the Army is going to let us both down but I really hope whatever tough times come we can grow closer and keep this special thing we have going. I miss you."

Nov 24, 2010

"I am the luckiest guy in the world because you don't want an out. I think we are perfect for each other and I hope we never have a fight but if we do we are sooo going to make up after. I miss you to the nth degree as n approaches infinity. Tomorrow is thanksgiving, woot woot. I really do have alot to be thankful for. A girl who calls me hero. A family who loves me. The opportunity to lead American Soldiers. And a girl who can't wait to hold me. ~ I mentioned you twice...... I miss you Babe and need to go to bed. I can't wait to hold you and feel your tight little hug. I feel like we grew together tonight and both became stronger people together. Every problem you ever have, I want to help you solve. And every problem I ever have, I want your input and encouragement. You mean alot to me. I miss you. Your Captain, Steve (even when I am a Major, I want to be your captain."

This is going to be an adventure

I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you

missing you hurts

I woke up this morning at around 530. I just couldn't sleep. I guess it's that time of deployment. It's the part where the random tears come and the missing grows stronger. The part where every happy couple I see, I want to punch and make them go away. But it's also the time I start my countdown for r&r. I miss you. I just want you to know that you are the reason for me. The reason I want good in my life, the reason I don't want to let go, no matter how hard this deployment is. I wish we had more realtime romance but I know somehow we'll figure it out....well i gotta go. Miss you... can't wait for your voice.

weeping angel

A broken girl cries out in the night,
A perfect weeping angel if she just had wings.
Betrayed by her reality, alone with her regrets,
She begs the stars for one more moment,
Just long enough to say good-byes,
Tell him that she loved him,
That he was the perfect man,
She never thought he’d go so soon.
A million and one broken dreams,
She’s not sure she’s strong enough.
Tear-stained cheeks and blood-shot eyes,
Weary and worn from so deep a loss,
Her mind clings to long, lost memories,
A little princess and her King,
A montage of the life she used to have.
She curls her knees to her chest,
Hugging her broken heart, afraid to come undone
The night remains still, unforgiving and cold
A broken girl, alone and lonely, cries
A perfect weeping angel if she just had wings.


Miss you daddy.

a few days...

Babe,

It's been a couple days since I heard from you live. I hope I get to hear from you soon. Hope if your "out" you are safe and those marines have your back ;) I miss you. I got your long letter yesterday night and wrote you back this morning. It's really long. Just a warning. And if you weren't warned it means you never read this haha.

Anyways, I am waiting for the cable and phone and internet guy (He's one guy but doing three jobs) He's going to set me up. I cleaned my livingroom and bedroom again. I'd rather have you here so it matters any.

Oh, last night i also got the Hard Corps Shirts that Sean sent to me. I love them! I can't wait til he does the Army version, I think I'll get all the branches, but for now I have the Marines ones, both the female version and the male version. I love the female version. It says "Faithful Always THEY SHALL REMAIN" it looks pretty badass. And the male version says :Hard Corps. Dogs to loose when war is waged. I have some stuff for you to give out in the carepackage coming from Sean. :)

Anyways, I have to go. But I just wanted to update this. I miss you. Call or write soon. xoxox

it's tough

Babe,

I miss you more than ever today, which is a little amusing considering I missed you more than ever yesterday. Bad things happened last night, things I'm feeling guilty for and wishing I could do more. You know what, since I talked to you this morning, but I still wish I could hear your voice instead of facebook chat. I can't hear your comfort over the internet. :'( i miss you so much and last night was so hard to go through. I barely slept at all, but even when I did, I slept with the phone in my arms. I changed my default ringtone to "Lifeline" by Papa roach. "I've been looking for a lifeline for what seems like a lifetime, I'm drowning in the pain, breaking down again, looking for a lifeline" I was in so much pain last night, wondering if I'll ever be forgiven, wondering if she'll ever trust me again, but knowing I did the only thing I could, I heard her pleas and knew what she was doing so I did what anyone who has been there should do. I wish you were here. I wish you could hug me and tell me that everything's going to be alright. I wish that i could hear your voice or see your face or something. I just friggin miss you.

Today, as I said, my goal is to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. I plan on laying around, watching my kids make a mess and teaching them to say "Hooah" and "Oorah" and "I love you, Mom". They already managed "Hooah" and "Oorah" and Semper Fi. It's actually really cute to hear Jax yell it. I think "yep, he's going to follow in my family's footsteps. He's going to be like my Dad or Grandfather or brothers. He's going to be amazing." You'd have a laugh because he gets so excited whenever I put on the videos with Soldiers or Marines in it. I asked Lily what she wanted to do when she grows up and she said "Navy" I think  it's from going to the Navy base the other day. She loved the uniforms and kept smiling at them. She's usually so shy in public!

Other than that, I'll probably stalk the mailman. He smiles at me every day and tells me he's sorry when he has nothing. He knows I'm waiting for you. One of my friend joked I am dating the mailman more than you, and I laughed. He's just holding my letters hostage I think, just so he can see me more often ;) just kidding.

Anyways, babe. I can't wait to talk to you later. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox...

btw. I miss you. more than I ever thought possible. Hope you miss me too.

my birthday night

Tonight, thanks to some help, I found a song... it's called come home by one republic, the song on this sites home page. Anyways, I am listening to it on repeat. The words to it remind me of you Hello World, hope you're listening, forgive me if i'm young and speaking out turn, there's someone that i've been missing, I think that they could be the better half of me, they're in the wrong place trying to make it right, but I'm tired of justifying... i say to you come home, come home, cuz i've been waiting for you for so long, for so long, and right now there's a war between vanities but all i see is you and me, the fight for you is all I've ever known, so come home... I get lost in the beauty of everything I see, the world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be, if all the sons and all the daughters stopped to take in well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin, it might start now or maybe i'm just dreaming out loud. but until then come home, come home everything i can't be is everything you should be and that's why i need i need you here, everything i can't be is everything you should be and that's why i need you here...  so hear this now, come home, come home! cuz i've been waiting for you for so long, for so long and right now there's a war between vanities but all i see is you and me, the fight for you is all i've ever known, so come home..." I can't help but think of you and me and thinking that this is the song that reminds me exactly how i'm feeling. I know you could be my better half, you're everything I wish I could be and I need you in my life, i want you here. I know you will come home soon (at least for leave) and I can't wait to be wrapped in your arms, feeling you near to me, so I can stop missing you. If you ever thought missing me was hard, you should try missing you. It's impossibly hard to get through a day lately without wishing with all my heart you were near or that i could talk to you or text you. I never thought I'd feel this again, not really, but there's you, in the wrong place trying to make it right... I miss you... as always, come home to me, safe and sound. xxx, ooo times infinity <3

It's my birthday night and all I keep wishing is that  you were the last voice I heard today. Or that I can stay up long enough for you to come online and make me smile. if I had my way, I could do more than post another entry here. I miss you...

Stay safe, call soon, and come home safe. You're all I'll ever need.

<3 your girl