Memorial Day, Saturday May 29, 2010

War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no chance of... being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself

It is foolish and wrong to mourn the men who died. Rather we should thank God that such men lived. - General George S. Patton

I will always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade.  I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills. I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.  I am an expert and I am a professional.

God Have Mercy on my enemies, because I won't ~ General George S. Patton

You showed me how I was supposed to Live then you showed me how to die ~ Toby Keith

It's hard missing my Daddy. A weekend full of condolences and kind words. Here's some of the sweetest.

If I'm even a sliver of the man your father was, I'll be a hell of a man.~ A Gunner in Iraq

I am keeping you in my thoughts, have your picture tucked in my pocket over my heart. I've got to go to work. Hooah!~ An Army Medic in Hemland Afghanistan

This weekend will never be about parties for you. It will always be sad, but just know that I have you in my prayers and that this weekend will always remind me of what you lost. Your Dad was a hero. ~A vet. Army Sgt in the states.

I am honoured to know you and wish you strength in carrying through a loss such as yours. You are in our thoughts here this weekend. A toast or ten will be made in your honor. ~A Vet Marine in the states.

and my personal favorite, the double edged sword.

I only met your dad a few times, he scared the hell out of me most of the time, but I always think about how much he loved you and how much he loved our Country... I know you miss him, he was your Daddy, how could you not? Just know I'm here, if you need to talk. I miss you, kiddo. ~ My childhood friend and current soldier in the Army deployed in Iraq.

I don't want to pretend this weekend is easy... But the outpouring of love, from so many that are in Warzones, so many that care... I'm touched and honoured by every word they say. My heart is broken but it's healing a little more every day, all because of those strong and Brave men, who fight for us everyday.

It's Memorial Day weekend. 7 months since my Dad's been gone, since he died in Service to the USAF. This weekend is meant to remember him... To remember what others like him have sacrificed for the security of all of us. whether we choose to accept it or not.


I keep crying. The truth is right now all I could use is a fucking hug. I could use my friend back, but I'm afraid to ask for his help, for anything, because I know his girlfriend would think I was trying something. but the truth is, he was there when I found out, and there's no one that could possibly know how badly it hurt me to lose him, how I instantly felt the most terrible pain of my life in that moment. And even though it's been months, maybe it's just the day...or rather what this weekend means. Memorial Day... To remember those that died during their service... But really, it just feels like the world is haunting me, like the pain is so deep within, sometimes, like right now, when I can't do anything but cry.

bits of my poetry

I wrote this a long time ago... long before it truly meant anything to me.

But suddenly, as I look through the cardboard box which lies all my complete and incomplete works of writing. This is something I had writtten before in different stanzas different little bits of paper where a single line would happen and nothing would fit.



Here's the original pieces:

And she closed her eyes just to remember but the feeling was gone, she realized at that moment, her life meant now than it had ever meant before.

She felt herself dangling upon a string, hanging so high above him, looking around she wondered if all she saw was all there really was.

Another life, another time, it would have been perfect

The tragedy I face, the sad forgotten truth is that I never said to you what I always meant to.

He thinks he's gone forgotten alone and thriving merely.

This is what those turned into

And she closed her eyes to remember, but the feeling was gone.

she felt herself dangling upon a string, hanging so high above him

Wondering to herself if all she saw was all there really was

Another life, another time, it might have been perfect

but at that moment she realized how much more her life meant

than it had ever had meant before, when he was hers.

The tragedy she faces, the sad forgotten truth

Is that she never said what she always meant to.

But now she's almost forgotten and not so alone

And her soul is not merely surviving, no, it's striving

Sometimes I'm worried that