Rant

As much as I love Steve, I am glad we will never live near his family. The fact is they are very conservative baptist and think I am the wrong type of christian. I'm catholic!! I was raised with faith, have the same bible they have, we just practice differently. I find it to be a little disgusting and quite closed minded to assume you are going to heaven while other people are going to hell. No one knows where they stand with God until they die.

And it bothers me how much they judge. I try so hard not to judge others. I don't assume one way or another if someone is living their life the best they can, if they will go to heaven. That's not my place. I also don't assume they are the wrong religion, no matter what their religion is. It's vain to assume you know better than anyone else. You take what you know, you live the best you can, you lead by example and never assume you know all the answers, because no one can know all the answers.

And I'm mad. Mad at his family for acting like Steve has suddenly changed. As long as I've known him, he's always said that his family wouldn't understand his own beliefs so he just doesn't tell them. He said they wouldn't like me because I'm tattooed, catholic and a single mom. It doesn't matter that I don't attempt to control him. It doesn't matter that I don't tell him to do this or that, or ask him to change his faith or do things that are against his nature. I don't even assume that I know him absolutely. But I know he's a good, kind, decent, honorable man. I know he has faith, that he wants to go to Heaven, that he believes in much of the same things I do. But according to his mother, he's just changed. He hasn't but apparently, she doesn't know anything about him anymore. Or she'd never assume that, either.

And I'm not lost. I know where I stand on God and my faith. Just because it doesn't match theirs doesn't mean I'm lost. Or that I think I will go to hell. A few years ago, they would have been right. But not anymore. Not since I found my way after my father's death. It took a while but I have my faith back. And I'm not changing for them. Especially people that don't get me. Steve hasn't asked and nor would he. We agree on faith. We agree on most things in that area. Just because we have different labels means nothing to us.

So the reason this rant is unfolding is because they excluded me from the Christmas Exchange. Instead of including me, since we'll be married by then, which they know, they left me out. My feelings are this "that's messed up" and "fine, i'll just be the auntie who spoils the nieces and nephews. screw it, I don't want to be included this year or any other year." It stings but at the same time, it just makes me feel better to be excluded. I honestly don't want to be apart of such a hypocritical family. They wouldn't consider me a factor in Steve's life before we were engaged and married, so screw it. Now that I am, they choose to ignore me. Whatever.

I'm really not interested in dealing with them. They don't know Steve at all. They are truly very small minded and they don't even consider the fact that they may be wrong. It's disappointing. I was honestly hoping for in-laws that would at least take the time to know me but LABELS mean they won't. Well, whether they like it or not, I'm about to be Steve's wife and that means they'll have to deal with me as much as I have to deal with them. And honestly, I don't care if they like me.


Confused again by Civilians...