Steve and I are going out for Sushi tonight. We are having my birthday dinner between the two of us and I'm really excited, even though we are both exhausted. It's only 8 days until we are married and we want to have one last "date" before then. It's so strange to think that I'll be his wife in little over a week... I have been waiting for this moment for most of my life... After several bad relationships, it's amazing to think I finally found the one... the one man I get to spend forever with. No more dating, no more wondering if someone loves me. No more wondering what tomorrow holds, I know. I know where my life is leading, what it holds. And I am so grateful.

I prayed for him. I wonder if I ever mentioned that... I prayed after the way my last relationship ended that I would find the one who would love me for me... who would take me as I am and inspire me to be better and by the Grace of God, or luck of the draw, if you don't believe in God, I found my soul mate. <3 I found the one... 

And tonight, we celebrate my twenty-fourth birthday (which was yesterday) and the start of the best year of my life. This year I get to be married... then when we're ready, maybe this year, maybe next year, we will try for my third, or our third, child... And I can't wait....

The kids are watching a Dinosaur movie, while we wait for our sitter to arrive. So I'm going to go.

Much Love,

For now and Forever,

Leah

Today I was born... 24 years ago

Older now than I was before, younger still than I plan to be.

It is my birthday. My twenty-fourth. I always dread my birthday but I was really looking forward to it. Until that is, Steve came home on Monday and told me he had Staff Duty. Now, I get to spend the day alone with the kids again. We postponed my birthday dinner until tomorrow. We are going for sushi. I LOVE sushi.

Today I'm just hanging out, doing laundry and watching Bones. Steve taught Jax how to say happy birthday to me and Jax gave me a kiss and told me happy Birthday, Lily told me right after that. It's the first year someone else cared enough to teach my kids that. Tonight, I am having a cake that I bought myself with the kids before I dye my hair blonde then red. I want it to be really bright. I hope it looks awesome too.

I can't wait until my wedding day... I have red and white roses as my bouquet, my daughter is wearing red and white, my son is wearing red, black and white, my HUSBAND is wearing his Dress Blues aka Class A's aka ASUs. My bridesmaids are wearing red and blue dresses (2 red, one blue) and everything will be beautiful.

My Chaplain signed off yesterday on everything. We went over the ceremony and he agreed to the scripture verse I wanted and the moment of silence in honor of my father.

He also told us that he has confidence in us as a couple. That we have a great chance of having a lengthy and loving marriage. I just about cried. However, I did cry later, when my neighbor, a retired Chaplain (he was shot six times once) brought by a wedding gift for us. It's a lighted chapel. He said that it signifies the commitment he sees in our eyes, for each other, the faith and love we share with eachother and God. I was so touched and had tears in my eyes.

No one can tell me that the Military isn't full of these amazing men. Former and Current. I'm sure the future generations will hold just as many wonderful people too.

Anyways, I have to go. But Happy Birthday to me :)

Much love,
For now and Forever,
Leah

Birthday dinner

Tonight, I really had the happiest birthday I've had in years. It's still 3 days to go but Becca and Pody hosted a joint birthday dinner for Catie and me. It was great. Becca made steaks just for the birthday girls but tons of other great food too. We had a fire pit going and then the birthday cake.... She made us both Penis cakes. And everyone sang to us, Token, Palmer, Chewy, Sarah, Pody, Becca, Steve and yes, my kids too (they got cupcakes, not the penis cake and they had no idea about it just so you know). Everyone had a great time and we each got some candles that smell delicious from Becca. She's like the mother hen of the group and we love her dearly. I love her dearly. She's the best!

Catie and I talked and honestly, I really like her. She just turned 22 and is a fellow army wife. Her husband and Steve were deployed together. I really enjoy her company. Last night we sang Kareokee together at the VFW. "Hit me baby one more time" but we sang it as "Give me rogane one more time" to Pody. He's a great guy too, Becca's funny, offbeat husband. 

Anyways, it was a wonderful night, with wonderful people and I can honestly say this is the happiest I have ever been. I am loved, I have great friends, I have a wonderful family. I have an amazing life. 

Mine is the white plate, Catie's is the green plate.

Cutting the tip off.

 Steve had a ball and I ate the tip :) 

Well, lots of love,
For now and Forever,
Leah

My military life

I am blessed to be back in this life that I love. This life that I had almost put in my past forever. I am happy with the life that I am blessed to share with my soon-to-be husband, my children, my friends, my family.

I have really awesome friends. Becca and Pody are holding a dinner tonight for Catie and I. Our birthdays are very soon so they invited us over for a double birthday celebration. They are really awesome friends. We act like a family, a close-knit group that readily accepts a new person as one of their own.

I wish I could explain just how the military family works but there really aren't words. When you go through as much as we do, the friends and family of the servicemen and the servicemen themselves... you bond. You share a certain perspective on life and you share certain qualities. There are things that don't matter to us that matter to civilians and there are certain things that matter to us that a civilian would never even think about, because, let's face the facts, they will never have to endure them.

I was born a brat and lived as one for all of my youth, then I find a Soldier who I could't live without and I realize that my life was training for the next step. Being a brat is different than being a wife, however, being a wife is easier for me because I was a brat. If that makes sense. I know exactly what to expect, how this life works, how bonds are formed, how you can be one place one year and then a completely new place the next, forming the same sort of friendships you had in the previous location. Some people are good at that, some aren't. I consider myself lucky that I am able to find these amazing people, no matter where I am. The only time I have ever struggled was the time I spent in the civilian world, where everyone plays by their own rules, not conforming to a standard that respects the key values. For me, the military life is home. For me, that is where friends truly become family, where you become bonded with these people, like Becca and Pody, who make life seem better. 

I think back to two years ago. I had just found out my father was dead and I was struggling to keep together a relationship that in my heart of hearts I knew wasn't going to work. But now, two years later, I am back home, I have an amazing relationship with the man, who in twelve days will be my husband, and friends who are as close in my heart as family. I know where I stand. It might sound absurd, but the Military offers more than people think. It's not just the hardships we endure that make us stronger, but it's the good times, the fact we celebrate life as much as possible, possibly because life, for us, is more fragile. There is more chance that the hardships could strike again and there is nothing we can do to stop it. So we celebrate... birthdays, weddings, holidays, any day, really. We go out in groups, we take care of each other, we care. In this life, that is all we can do to survive and make a life worth remembering. We try to forget the bad parts and focus on what we have to smile about. That is one of our key strengths. Our ability to survive. 

Anyways, I'm going to go, but I just wanted to say how happy I am that this is my life again. How lucky I am to find my true love in this life. I wasn't living my life before. I am now. 

For now and forever,

Leah

My Birthday Weekend

So far this weekend has been incredibly awesome. Last night, Steve took us to dinner at the Catfish Junction, then today, after I went to the salon to get my hair cut and styled (just a trim, I love the length), he took me to the PX where he bought me my birthday present. A Sony Vaio laptop. I love it!! It's so beautiful and works brilliantly. It's got twice as much RAM and Hard drive storage as my other laptop and has an amazing graphics card. :) I love it. So far I've been transferring stuff and it's been wonderfully fast. Needless to say, I am in love... haha.

Then tonight we went to a Halloween party at the VFW where our friends were hanging out. We dressed up, me as a vixen ;) and Steve went as a local aka Native (Cowboy boots, blue jeans, flannel shirt, hunting hat). Becca and Pody were there. They went as a bridezilla and a beaten groom haha. Austin and Kaitie went as eachother. Shorty went as a big baby. Palmer went as himself. And there were others but honestly, I can't remember everyone's names (sorry!!). I had a few jello shots with the girls and a beer before switching to Mountain Dew. I really don't like getting drunk that often but it was lots of fun. We only left because everyone was going to another bar and my corset was killing my ribcage.

Steve just took our sitter home and I'm transferring more files right now. My sitter is awesome. Lily always asks to hang out with her daily (she doesn't realize that she's being babysat for, just that her friend is coming over to play). She likes my movie collection and my book collection. And she's my go-to sitter. I swear, I wouldn't know what to do without such a reliable girl to turn to when I need to get stuff done.

Anyways, I'm going to get off here and go get ready for bed. I'm exhausted and Lunatic is being spastic.

Much love,
for now and forever,

Leah

Jax

turns 3 today. Right now. My Baby is three. And you can bet he wishes you were here to celebrate with us. We miss you!!!!!!!!

I remember when he was born:::::

Life is as life is.

Well, I have completed all my homework except for my paper. I'm stuck. I can't come up with a thesis. Hopefully I'll come up with something brilliant by Saturday, otherwise I'm screwed.


I keep having dreams about SR... Last night, I kept dreaming he got home and called me from the airport. And I was so excited but I'd wake up inside my dream and get mad, then sure enough. I think I'm getting quite impatient. haha.

My daughter turned FOUR!!!! yesterday. Wow I am the mother of a four year old daughter. Wow.

Also, it has snowed.... A LOT!

Ok. tired. write later. byez

my birthday night

Tonight, thanks to some help, I found a song... it's called come home by one republic, the song on this sites home page. Anyways, I am listening to it on repeat. The words to it remind me of you Hello World, hope you're listening, forgive me if i'm young and speaking out turn, there's someone that i've been missing, I think that they could be the better half of me, they're in the wrong place trying to make it right, but I'm tired of justifying... i say to you come home, come home, cuz i've been waiting for you for so long, for so long, and right now there's a war between vanities but all i see is you and me, the fight for you is all I've ever known, so come home... I get lost in the beauty of everything I see, the world ain't half as bad as they paint it to be, if all the sons and all the daughters stopped to take in well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin, it might start now or maybe i'm just dreaming out loud. but until then come home, come home everything i can't be is everything you should be and that's why i need i need you here, everything i can't be is everything you should be and that's why i need you here...  so hear this now, come home, come home! cuz i've been waiting for you for so long, for so long and right now there's a war between vanities but all i see is you and me, the fight for you is all i've ever known, so come home..." I can't help but think of you and me and thinking that this is the song that reminds me exactly how i'm feeling. I know you could be my better half, you're everything I wish I could be and I need you in my life, i want you here. I know you will come home soon (at least for leave) and I can't wait to be wrapped in your arms, feeling you near to me, so I can stop missing you. If you ever thought missing me was hard, you should try missing you. It's impossibly hard to get through a day lately without wishing with all my heart you were near or that i could talk to you or text you. I never thought I'd feel this again, not really, but there's you, in the wrong place trying to make it right... I miss you... as always, come home to me, safe and sound. xxx, ooo times infinity <3

It's my birthday night and all I keep wishing is that  you were the last voice I heard today. Or that I can stay up long enough for you to come online and make me smile. if I had my way, I could do more than post another entry here. I miss you...

Stay safe, call soon, and come home safe. You're all I'll ever need.

<3 your girl