Don't wear his rank

I love my husband. When I met him, I remember thinking "I can't fall for this guy. He might be perfect but he's an officer and he's about to deploy in a few months." You see, I'm an enlisted man's daughter, who grew up with rank segregation. I knew that officers were uptight and high strung. I knew that as someone who had grown up enlisted that I would always have a problem with that attitude.

Already I had a wife of a 1LT give me the officer's wife rundown. I was shocked and appauled considering how I don't only care about my husband's career enough to have a public face around his co-workers and superiors but I care enough not do have fun the way I used to, before I became his wife. I never want to be the officer's wife who has a stick up her butt, who acts like her husband is better than everyone else, who thinks she's better than other wives because of her husband's rank. Because she's not. He's not. I respect everyone but I know for a fact that no one, no matter the rank, is any better than anyone else.

I am a TSgt's daughter, first and foremost. I have enlisted friends, I have enlisted brothers. I married an officer but it wasn't because of his rank or even that he was in the Army (although, for me, it was a plus). I love my husband for the man he is, the fact that he's an officer, well, it almost turned me off to who he is completely because I've only ever met a few officers before him that I liked enough to even be friends with, and never met one I wanted to be with in a romantic sense. He changed my mind about that. Partially because when he told me he was enlisted first, I thought well, he's got to be smarter than the normal officer. And it turned out he was smarter, funnier, more down to earth.

We don't like hanging out with other officers. My friends here are enlisted and although, we do know a few nice and good officers, we aren't very social with them. We like to stick around the house, hanging as a family, keeping our complaints about this and that to ourselves.

When I got the officer wife rundown, I came home and told my husband. He works with hers (they shall both remain nameless because I'm not out to start drama) and he told me it doesn't matter because what she said wasn't true. I do what I'm responsible for, showing up at functions and being part of the FRG, helping the other wives, being nice and realizing that I do represent him. So I'm a little bit more honest and blunt than most, so I'm a little more wild and free naturally. So I dye my hair bright red and wear jeans and cowboy boots with tshirts, so I am an artist and not a normal "officer's wife" that's ok with me. And, even more importantly, that's ok with my husband.

He married me knowing just about everything about me. My flaws and faults and what I could bring into our relationship. He knew that I would be a good mother with enough history to know what I was responsible for as his wife. He knew I could cook and he knew I could make him look good at certain times. I do things for him because I love him. I represent him at different functions because that's what I'm supposed to do. And he knew the rest, the fact that I swear more than most girls, the fact that I'm more comfortable with a firearm in my hands in the woods than I am with a bunch of ladies discussing how to decorate an Army function. He knows who I am absolutely and I don't hide that from him.

So having another wife, especially one that has less history than I do, tell me that I'm not representing him properly, when my husband has never once complained or even let on that he was unhappy with how I behaved or acted in front of his co-workers and superiors, lets me know that she spoke out of line and she judged me based on my hair, my clothes and my 'don't-give-a-damn-what-you-think' way that I walk and talk. I don't give a damn but when it comes to my husband, I do. I'm a damn good wife and a damn good mother. I can make it through the rough patches that a Military life undoubtedly has in store and I've been through the absolute worse as a daughter. I dress up nice, put a sweet smile on my face, and can hold a conversation with the Lt. Col. of our unit and then have a nice chat with one of the lower enlisted soldiers at the same time.

It doesn't really matter about rank, what matters to me is the person wearing the rank or the person who stands beside him/her. If someone is a Lt. Col and an asshole, I'm not going to talk to him/her much, but if his wife is sweet, doesn't wear his rank, acts like a proper Army wife and carries herself with dignity, then I will like her. If a Sgt's wife wears his rank and acts superior to those who are below her husband and their wives/husbands, well I'm going to dislike her. That's just the way it is.

The wife who gave me the rundown will probably never read this blog, because we aren't friends, but if she were to ever run across it. I would love to tell her that she's in the wrong and that her wearing his rank, acting like she earned it... well, she's acting far too superior for her own and her husband's good. I may not do anything to harm her family by complaining to my husband, but I'm sure I'm not the first wife she's talked to, which means I won't be the last. One day, she's eventually going to start something with someone else, who won't be as good about letting go.

To other wives who read this, and even the girlfriends, please know, that your husband or boyfriend's rank is his. You didn't earn it and you don't deserve to wear it or act like it's yours. You may have stood beside him and given him unconditional love and supported him and made sacrifices for him, but you agreed to that and you also agreed to help his career any way you could. And wearing his rank, well, to be honest, I've seen it hurt relationships and his career. You don't want to be that wife.

Anyways, I was just thinking about that today and I thought I'd share my thoughts on the matter.

Much love.

Serial killers and self-defense

I have become pretty addicted to Dexter, a show about a serial killer who hunts murderers and other serial killers. It's pretty awesome and has fed my one daydream of being a killer who kills murderers and child molesters and rapists, you know, the scum of the earth. I don't think I could kill an innocent person but someone who is stone-cold guilty, yea I think I could do that if I knew I wouldn't get caught.

It's the same reason I love the Boondock Saints movies so much. The idea of vigilante ways appeals to me but I'll probably never do anything about that. I have too much to lose, my family, friends, freedom. The big Fs. And I think that's what keeps me from seeing someone do something heinous and not lose my mind and find a way to make them pay for it, when our court systems fail us so many times.

If there was a killer out there who killed for the right reasons, I wouldn't want him caught. It would be good incentive for people not to step over that line, open that door and walk through into the darkness of humanity.

I day dream alot, about different things. But when I'm at a range, and picturing the target, in my stance, remembering the lessons I was taught regarding my weapon and the bullets inside, I picture the face of the latest child molester to pop up on my tv screen, or the latest corrupt cop who is using his gun and badge for things other than protecting the innocent... and I take a deep breath, steady my hands and aim through my target. I'm almost a perfect shot, fyi. For my next birthday, I'm getting my conceal permit and my dream gun, which is actually torn between two .45s.

I grew up using weapons and I like them. I know how to disarm an attacker with a knife. I know that if someone wants to take me somewhere else, to fight like hell because they probably want to make the kill slower, might as well go down fighting and have a chance of freedom. I know how to flip a man twice my weight and have him fall to the ground without using too much effort of my own. I know the weak spots on a person's body and the pressure points that will disable my attacker. I know these things because I was taught them. Some lessons were given to me by my father (once I sliced his hand open by disarming him with his Kabar). Some were taught by friends. Everyone saw me as a small, petite little thing, easy to overpower without the training, so I was taught. I was taught that my size makes me seem like the perfect victim, which I guess is good because I've had to use my training a time or two in my past, to get away from a bad situation before it got worse. Better me, than some girl who can't defend herself. My daughter will get that same training too.

I often wonder why more girls aren't taught self-defense. Why they aren't taught things like the ability to throw knives or shoot a weapon with better-than average accuracy. Why they aren't given that power of knowing they might be small but size doesn't matter as much as training and most attackers aren't trained. They are simply taking advantage of a situation that appears to give them the upper hand.

My advice to any women out there: get some type of self-defense training. Not kick boxing. Not karate but genuine, self-defense. Whether you learn how to kick a knee cap perfectly or body slam a man twice your size, that's all important. Women who get hurt, 9 times out of 10 don't have any type of training. They are weak, maybe  not by choice, but because they don't know how to protect themselves. And that really bugs me.

So for my next birthday, I'm getting my right to conceal a weapon and wear it when I'm unsure of my environment. The threat of a weapon is the only thing needed by most dirtbags to high tail it. I'm getting my dream gun that I will be trained in using. I will have my protection no matter what. Part of being who I am, growing up the way I did, makes me realize the benefit of firearms and I know the risks, but I also know this: that my children will grow up with a heavy respect for weapons, whether they be knives or pistols or rifles. And that's not only because their father is in the Army, but also because their mother has never touched a weapon that wasn't hers without permission and will teach them the proper way to shoot and the lessons that are involved. Lessons I might write later, when I have the time.

It's funny how a show about serial killers makes me think about my own protection, and those I love. I will be prepared for anything when it comes to my family and I will not rely on my husband to do it. Partially because I never know when he'll be gone and partially because I know I am capable.

Anyways, much love and please, ladies, listen to what I said. Get into self-defense class and kick ass. There is no reason any woman should be at the mercy of a man, ever.

Autism Genetic Link

FRIDAY, Nov. 4 (HealthDay News) -- A gene variation associated with an increased risk of autism in boys has been identified by scientists.

Boys are three to four times more likely than girls to be affected by autism.

In this study, U.S. researchers analyzed genomic data from more than 3,000 children with autism and their family members, as well as children without autism.

The results showed a link between a variation in the gene for transducin beta-like 1X-linked (TBL1X) and an increased risk of autism spectrum disorders (ASD) in boys. TBL1X is part of the Wnt-signaling pathway involved in the system that controls embryonic neurological development and the maintenance of brain function in adults.

The study is published in the Nov. 3 online edition of the journal Molecular Autism.

"The [variation] in TBL1X is associated with an increase in risk for ASD of about 15 percent. This could reflect either an unidentified rare mutation (or mutations), which has large impact, or a more common change with a more subtle effect, on the development of ASD," study leader Eden Martin, of the Hussman Institute for Human Genomics at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, said in a journal news release.

"Further study of TBL1X will help us to pinpoint the DNA changes involved and help us to understand exactly how these changes and the Wnt-signaling pathway is involved in ASD," Martin added.

Autism affects about one in 110 children and can cause problems in language, communication and understanding other people's emotional cues.

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I thought this was interesting considering Steve's nephew is autistic as well as my ex's nephew. I am lucky that both my children are fine. I don't know how raising an autistic child would be like. I know that both nephews annoy me, more my ex's because his mother refused to punish him, although I know there is a time and place for punishment, even with autistic children. I used to go insane because this kid would be loud and rude and straight up undisciplined. I don't really know my soon-to-be nephew that well, but he is at least disciplined, if slightly on the annoying edge. He asks Steve three questions whenever they see each other, the same three. "How tall are you?" "What's your shoe size?" and "What kind of truck do you drive?" although the first two answers have never changed and the last has only changed once. I find it amusing and luckily I can understand so when he questioned me I was able to step back and realize he wasn't trying to be annoying. And at the very least, he was respectful to me.

Finding a genetic link to autism means that there may be  a way to prevent it. There is probably no cure for it once it starts but prevention, especially for families that have multiple generations of autistic children, would be a great step. I hope that they learn more soon, so they can help with families that are afraid to have children for fear their child will have the same disorder. 

Just my opinion

The US Constitution does not guarentee happiness. It guarantees the pursuit of it.

This makes me wonder on how exactly freedom is stripped down. After all, you can't have complete and total freedom, that would be anarchy. And not everyone can be happy all the time. It's a balance thing. For as successful as you are, there is someone out their who as equally unsuccessful. It stans to reason that for every freedom you are given to pursue your own happiness equally effects someone else.

You see the Westbor Baptist Church... you know those assholes who protest against our Military men and women's funerals, along with children's who have been killed in Natural disasters because they think in some twisted reality that we're all going to hell. Everyone but them. Roughly 100 people in one family. Probably inbred too.... well these people disturb me. They were given the right by the Supreme Court which has just sickened me. This country was formed on the back of our Armed Forces and the people in it. This country relies on these people for their safety and protection.

So I think my point with this is that when the Supreme Court said it was legal for the WBC do behave as they do, I started wondering if the Supreme Court had, in a way, stripped us of a basic constitutional right.... Here' I'll quote the line for you::::

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Ok, what I interpret that as we are guarenteed to live in peace and pursue happiness and comfort. How is it that we are not able to live in peace and pursue happiness during one of the greatest moments of darkness? Why are we subject to their inhuman indignities? And why, above all, does the Supreme Court go ahead and strip the Military of her dignity and basic freedoms yet allow a small group built upon using Religion in a corrupt and twisted way to inflict more pain upon the greatest of sorrows?

"And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes, and our sacred Honor."

This is a promise our Founding Fathers made and it is one that every Serviceman or Woman must make as well. We promise our lives, everything we might have in this life and our Honor, but we shouldn't be forced to promise our dignity too.

Not everyone can have every freeom, but it seems to me that the people who want to cause harm with theirs don't deserve it. Mental and emotional abuse and assault isn't a crime, but it should be when it's on such a disturbing level, starting with the lowly scum of WBC to the powerful Justices of the Supreme Court. Something must change.



After all, we are guarenteed on a basic human level the right to find our happiness.