Ok, I know I've been super sparatic at updating my blog, but this time I have something awesome to say. I have made a new friend. She's pretty awesome and kind of has a similar life as me. She grew up as a Military brat (Marines, not AF Spec Ops but still badass). Her husband is a Captain in the same course as mine, he was also in the Cav like mine before becoming an officer, like mine. We both want to be apart of a flash mob (which actually got us talking lol) and we have the same similar complaints about Army life while both being super proud and happy to be part of the Army life. To think, I've waited my whole life for someone like her!! haha!
Seriously though, to finally find a friend who can relate to almost everything is pretty fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends. Meg and Liz are crazy awesome. Megan and I can talk about everything and it doesn't ever get weird (and by everything I mean all that girl stuff and guy stuff and random stuff) and Liz and I talk about so much, but can we relate to everything? No. Can we expect anyone else to relate to who you are as a person? No but having someone come super close is pretty awesome, you have to admit.
Let's call her "Bee". Bee is very cool and very fun it seems. What excites me most is that we'll both be in the FRG together (and we both hate the Virtual one). Our husbands will be in class together and we will finally have a wife in the same unit as ourselves who doesn't give a crap about rank or ... let's call it Officer Wife politics (or as I've affectionately referred to it in the past "Petty Army Wives"). The best part is: we're going to have dinner together next week and meet in person.
See, I added this group on Facebook (or as I call it in my phone and to people in my daily life: Crackbook) dedicated to the Army Wives here to make friends or at the very least find out what's what about this new post and after saying I wanted to have a playdate (which I did... yesterday, I guess since it's after midnight here) I added a bunch of wives. Anyways, tonight I was watching Greek (go ahead, laugh, I enjoy cheesy things like that), I saw a flash mob in a dance contest and started youtubing and went on Crackbook saying that I wanted to do one. Well, after a couple hours, Bee told me she knew someone who did them and that we should talk. One thing led to another and we started agreeing with pretty much everything the other said about this and that ranging from everything to hating the rank-pulling wives and the wives who belittle brats because we obviously "don't know anything." It was awesome to talk to someone. Then Bee asked me to be her bff saying "I'm going to be cheesy and ask you to be my bff." Of course I said yes, because HELLO, SHE'S AWESOME! And we arranged to have dinner next week, exchanged numbers and plan on doing dinner next week.
I really am excited by this. I mean, it's been so long since I met someone that I can really be friends with. Don't get me wrong, I still love the girls I met at Fort Polk, but I wasn't really close to any of them, even though I wanted to be. But here, I have an opportunity to build a really good friendship, hopefully a lifetime friend, which these days, let's face it, is a pretty rare thing.
So I am happy and I'm excited and I can't wait to have dinner with Bee. I can't wait to find out what this place will hold next.
Much Love.
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blessings. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Who am I?
I thought I'd fill all of you in on the biggest parts of my life, from who I am to how I got here... The good stuff mostly :) It's partly to help bring focus to myself on my own life. I've been down lately and am hoping to feel better soon.
So here goes. Who am I?
Well I'm Leah and I'm 24 years old. I am married to my amazing soldier, Steve, who is a Captain in the Army. I am the mother to two beautiful and wonderful children: my daughter, Lily, a five year old girlie-girl and my son, Jax, a three and a half year old boy who loves dinosaurs and cars. I have two gorgeous four-legged babies: my kitten (well more of a cat now) Luna and my dog (possibly a purebred Great Pyrenees) Beau.
I have made alot of mistakes in my life but my kids have never been one of them. I didn't choose the right man to have them with (if you can even call their biological father a man, sometimes I don't) but I love them more than anything and am so glad they are mine and in my custody.
Lily was born January of 2007, when I was 19. She was a hard pregnancy and a horrible labor but she came into the world with a full head of hair and gasolene eyes. Her hair and eyes have lightened up alot since she was born and now has dark chestnut brown eyes (like me) and dirty blonde/light brown hair. Her favorite things are dance class, her dolls, her dog and cat (she thinks our animals are hers), my husband (Daddy, in her eyes), her brother and me. Her favorite color is pink and she thinks she's a princess.
Jax was born June of 2008, when I was 20, almost 21. He was the simplest pregnancy ever, no morning sickness and a relatively easy labor. He was born with a full head of hair and dark gray eyes with green flecks. Like his sister, those changed. His eyes are now dark brown with flecks of green and his hair is the same as his sister's dirty blond/light brown. His favorite things are dinosaurs, cars, trains, dirt, Daddy, his sister and me.
My own father, who was my first hero, sadly died on October 27th, 2009 and left me broken-hearted and without a family. I loved my Daddy fiercely, as only a daughter can love a father. He was in the US Air Force, in the Special Ops. He spent his life fighting against evil men, teaching me the Military Values that would become so ingrained in me that no one measured up, except my husband. He was funny, kind, amazing. He spoiled me and loved me and took care of me. He did all the things a Dad is supposed to do and more. When he died, I lost so much more than just a Dad. I lost my white-knight, my Hero and my biggest supporter of all my dreams and hopes. In honor of his memory, I got a tattoo on my left calf (actually two) of his unit coin. On one side it says "305th Spec Ops" above a skeleton hand holding arrows and below it says "Darkness Brings Death". On the other side it says "Daddy" above a grim reaper standing in front of the tail of a C-141 and below it says "Sleep Tight". My Daddy's unit motto was "Darkness brings death, sleep tight."
My husband and I met in March of 2010. We were supposed to be pen-pals when he was originally going to deploy with a different unit. He didn't end up deploying but we ended up talking on a daily basis, exchanging texts and emails, building a relationship that we weren't even sure what the future held for it, if it even held anything. We became good friends.
Then in July of 2010, he and I met face-to-face and felt a strong connection. While we both agreed not to make promises until we were positive that we would be able to keep them, we swore that we would stay in touch and send letters while he deployed to Afghanistan. He still called me as much as he could, wrote me letters and I wrote him. Our connection grew as the time passed where we only got to know each other, finding that as each day passed, we thought of each other more and more.
Finally in November of 2010, I swore that I would wait for him (although I hadn't dated anyone else while he was gone anyways). Also in November of 2010, I started Recruited ByLove, a facebook profile set up to be a support page and friend to other military girlfriends, wives and family members. (The way it's grown has blown my mind and I keep thinking of other ways to expand and make it something real and viable, something that will help not only the women on the page but others who have never even joined).
In January 2011, he came home for R&R and we spent all the time together we could, when we agreed that I would move to Fort Polk to wait for him and live in his house. From the time I lived in Louisiana til he came home, he and I dealt with everything together as much as we could with him being half a world away. I got things ready for his return and he helped me take care of things. We were serious about our future together. Talks of marriage and kids came up.
He came home from Afghanistan in August of 2011, and I was never happier about a man in my life. On post deployment leave, he brought me to Indiana to meet his family, the first time he's ever introduced someone to his family since he'd left home. They didn't like me for their own reasons (that mostly have to do with religious and cultural differences) but that doesn't really matter to me, the only thing that does is how my husband feels about me and he loves me.
After our post deployment vacation, we decided to get married as soon as we could. We started going to pre-marital counceling with his unit Chaplain (who also married us) and believe it or not, our Chaplain picked our wedding date (November 11, 2011).
He officially proposed to me on October 17th, 2011. The way he proposed was so wonderful. We had already picked out my ring (it's gorgeous) and had to have it shipped so I didn't get to wear it without an official proposal :). He took me to the training area of Fort Polk, where little "Afghan villages" are set up and the wild horses roam. I was petting a wild mare and softly talking to the mare when he approached me, got down on one knee and asked me "Leah Gose, will you be my wife?" Of course, I said yes. After all, that was my plan for so long :)
After a month of rushing around to finalize wedding plans and get it all set up, we were married in the Airborne Chapel on November 11th, 2011 (11-11-11) by our Chaplain with close friends and Steve's mother and one of his sisters present. It was a wonderful day and the day my life as the Captain's wife began.
Since we've gotten married, we adopted our cat, Lunatic, a beautiful black and white kitten, made improvements on our house (which we're selling to PCS soon), celebrated holidays, attended Army functions together, spent time as a family together. We have been through doctor appointments, dental appointments, family drama, and alot of other things. We also had our dog, Beau, show up out of the blue and make our family even more complete.
He spoils me rotten and makes my life perfect. Sure, it's not actually perfect. There's drama with petty army wives, frustrations from being in the Army life, bills to pay, things that have to get done, stress from PCSing, raising kids and every day stuff that tends to pile on faster than we can get it done. It's great though, because we are together for as long as we can.
And he encourages me. He encourages RBL and school and my artistic side. He loves that I create beautiful things, from my garden to poetry. He loves that I'm a good mother and that I care. He doesn't mind all my tattoos, or the fact that I want more. He doesn't mind that I dye my hair bright red because the idea of having natural hair bothers me. He doesn't mind that I am a bookworm who reads incessantly. He doesn't mind that I would rather wear cowboy boots and jeans than flip flops and shorts. He doesn't mind that I swear and have an attitude. He likes that I understand the military better than most girls he's ever been with. He likes that I can represent him at military functions and be his public face. He likes that I am a big-hearted softy when it comes to animals and people. He doesn't mind that sometimes I'm over-emotional. He loves me.
And I love him. I love how great he is with the kids. How he is such a hard worker, smart, funny, caring, wonderful, overall amazing. I love that he's getting his Master's degree soon. I love that he's strong enough to deal with things that I can't. I love that he has such a strong moral compass and doesn't deviate from his views, even if I disagree with them. I love that he has his own ways to have fun and I have mine. I love that we are close and that neither of us want to be with anyone else.
The fact is, my life is pretty great. I have these beautiful children who make my world a little bit more sparkle worthy. I have this great man that loves my kids like they are his own, that loves me with all his heart. A man who lets me keep animals as soon as I have my heart set on them. I love that he gave me everything I ever dreamed of and more. I have a beautiful cat who purrs almost every time I pick her up and cuddles with me when she has a chance. And now, I have this handsome dog, who isn't overly affectionate, but enough to know he loves me already.
I have friends that I love to talk to. My closest friends are Megan and Liz, who sadly live far away from me. Megan is in New Jersey and I introduced her to my friend, Eric, an enlisted soldier, who I met while being his pen-pal while he was in Iraq. They are so good together and every time I hear about how they are doing, a part of me feels so great. I was able to introduce a good couple to each other. Liz is in Florida and hasn't found anyone serious yet, but we go back a long time and know each other really well. Both of those girls are my sisters of the heart. I'm so lucky to have such great friends in them.
Our future holds a new post in less than two months, hopefully a baby, named Hunter or Willow, maybe a puppy in addition to Luna and Beau. Hopefully, I will have more friends, a more active social life and more things to be happy about in the future.
I am happy. I am in love. I am faithful, compassionate, loyal, loving. I have a big heart when it comes to kids and animals. I am untrusting when it comes to men and don't get along that well with women. I'm shy around new people and am one of those people where you either love me or hate me, there really isn't middle ground. I love music of all kinds. I love to watch TV on DVD or on Netflix rather than watch commercials. I love hockey and football, teams being the Jersey Devils and the Washington Redskins. I love to read and have already read almost 30 books this year alone (and it's only March 8th). I love to knit from time to time and I love to take pictures and edit them. I love to spend time with my family and I love to cuddle with my pets. I love when my husband takes me to dinner and I love when we all go out together. I love when everything is going good and nothing is going wrong.
And most of all, right now I just am happy to be alive, despite the stress... Sometimes I have to go over the past couple of years to see how great my life really is... I'm a lucky girl.
Love,
Leah
So here goes. Who am I?
I have made alot of mistakes in my life but my kids have never been one of them. I didn't choose the right man to have them with (if you can even call their biological father a man, sometimes I don't) but I love them more than anything and am so glad they are mine and in my custody.
Lily was born January of 2007, when I was 19. She was a hard pregnancy and a horrible labor but she came into the world with a full head of hair and gasolene eyes. Her hair and eyes have lightened up alot since she was born and now has dark chestnut brown eyes (like me) and dirty blonde/light brown hair. Her favorite things are dance class, her dolls, her dog and cat (she thinks our animals are hers), my husband (Daddy, in her eyes), her brother and me. Her favorite color is pink and she thinks she's a princess.
Jax was born June of 2008, when I was 20, almost 21. He was the simplest pregnancy ever, no morning sickness and a relatively easy labor. He was born with a full head of hair and dark gray eyes with green flecks. Like his sister, those changed. His eyes are now dark brown with flecks of green and his hair is the same as his sister's dirty blond/light brown. His favorite things are dinosaurs, cars, trains, dirt, Daddy, his sister and me.
My own father, who was my first hero, sadly died on October 27th, 2009 and left me broken-hearted and without a family. I loved my Daddy fiercely, as only a daughter can love a father. He was in the US Air Force, in the Special Ops. He spent his life fighting against evil men, teaching me the Military Values that would become so ingrained in me that no one measured up, except my husband. He was funny, kind, amazing. He spoiled me and loved me and took care of me. He did all the things a Dad is supposed to do and more. When he died, I lost so much more than just a Dad. I lost my white-knight, my Hero and my biggest supporter of all my dreams and hopes. In honor of his memory, I got a tattoo on my left calf (actually two) of his unit coin. On one side it says "305th Spec Ops" above a skeleton hand holding arrows and below it says "Darkness Brings Death". On the other side it says "Daddy" above a grim reaper standing in front of the tail of a C-141 and below it says "Sleep Tight". My Daddy's unit motto was "Darkness brings death, sleep tight."
My husband and I met in March of 2010. We were supposed to be pen-pals when he was originally going to deploy with a different unit. He didn't end up deploying but we ended up talking on a daily basis, exchanging texts and emails, building a relationship that we weren't even sure what the future held for it, if it even held anything. We became good friends.
Then in July of 2010, he and I met face-to-face and felt a strong connection. While we both agreed not to make promises until we were positive that we would be able to keep them, we swore that we would stay in touch and send letters while he deployed to Afghanistan. He still called me as much as he could, wrote me letters and I wrote him. Our connection grew as the time passed where we only got to know each other, finding that as each day passed, we thought of each other more and more.
Finally in November of 2010, I swore that I would wait for him (although I hadn't dated anyone else while he was gone anyways). Also in November of 2010, I started Recruited ByLove, a facebook profile set up to be a support page and friend to other military girlfriends, wives and family members. (The way it's grown has blown my mind and I keep thinking of other ways to expand and make it something real and viable, something that will help not only the women on the page but others who have never even joined).
In January 2011, he came home for R&R and we spent all the time together we could, when we agreed that I would move to Fort Polk to wait for him and live in his house. From the time I lived in Louisiana til he came home, he and I dealt with everything together as much as we could with him being half a world away. I got things ready for his return and he helped me take care of things. We were serious about our future together. Talks of marriage and kids came up.
He came home from Afghanistan in August of 2011, and I was never happier about a man in my life. On post deployment leave, he brought me to Indiana to meet his family, the first time he's ever introduced someone to his family since he'd left home. They didn't like me for their own reasons (that mostly have to do with religious and cultural differences) but that doesn't really matter to me, the only thing that does is how my husband feels about me and he loves me.
After our post deployment vacation, we decided to get married as soon as we could. We started going to pre-marital counceling with his unit Chaplain (who also married us) and believe it or not, our Chaplain picked our wedding date (November 11, 2011).
He officially proposed to me on October 17th, 2011. The way he proposed was so wonderful. We had already picked out my ring (it's gorgeous) and had to have it shipped so I didn't get to wear it without an official proposal :). He took me to the training area of Fort Polk, where little "Afghan villages" are set up and the wild horses roam. I was petting a wild mare and softly talking to the mare when he approached me, got down on one knee and asked me "Leah Gose, will you be my wife?" Of course, I said yes. After all, that was my plan for so long :)
After a month of rushing around to finalize wedding plans and get it all set up, we were married in the Airborne Chapel on November 11th, 2011 (11-11-11) by our Chaplain with close friends and Steve's mother and one of his sisters present. It was a wonderful day and the day my life as the Captain's wife began.
Since we've gotten married, we adopted our cat, Lunatic, a beautiful black and white kitten, made improvements on our house (which we're selling to PCS soon), celebrated holidays, attended Army functions together, spent time as a family together. We have been through doctor appointments, dental appointments, family drama, and alot of other things. We also had our dog, Beau, show up out of the blue and make our family even more complete.
He spoils me rotten and makes my life perfect. Sure, it's not actually perfect. There's drama with petty army wives, frustrations from being in the Army life, bills to pay, things that have to get done, stress from PCSing, raising kids and every day stuff that tends to pile on faster than we can get it done. It's great though, because we are together for as long as we can.
And he encourages me. He encourages RBL and school and my artistic side. He loves that I create beautiful things, from my garden to poetry. He loves that I'm a good mother and that I care. He doesn't mind all my tattoos, or the fact that I want more. He doesn't mind that I dye my hair bright red because the idea of having natural hair bothers me. He doesn't mind that I am a bookworm who reads incessantly. He doesn't mind that I would rather wear cowboy boots and jeans than flip flops and shorts. He doesn't mind that I swear and have an attitude. He likes that I understand the military better than most girls he's ever been with. He likes that I can represent him at military functions and be his public face. He likes that I am a big-hearted softy when it comes to animals and people. He doesn't mind that sometimes I'm over-emotional. He loves me.
And I love him. I love how great he is with the kids. How he is such a hard worker, smart, funny, caring, wonderful, overall amazing. I love that he's getting his Master's degree soon. I love that he's strong enough to deal with things that I can't. I love that he has such a strong moral compass and doesn't deviate from his views, even if I disagree with them. I love that he has his own ways to have fun and I have mine. I love that we are close and that neither of us want to be with anyone else.
The fact is, my life is pretty great. I have these beautiful children who make my world a little bit more sparkle worthy. I have this great man that loves my kids like they are his own, that loves me with all his heart. A man who lets me keep animals as soon as I have my heart set on them. I love that he gave me everything I ever dreamed of and more. I have a beautiful cat who purrs almost every time I pick her up and cuddles with me when she has a chance. And now, I have this handsome dog, who isn't overly affectionate, but enough to know he loves me already.
I have friends that I love to talk to. My closest friends are Megan and Liz, who sadly live far away from me. Megan is in New Jersey and I introduced her to my friend, Eric, an enlisted soldier, who I met while being his pen-pal while he was in Iraq. They are so good together and every time I hear about how they are doing, a part of me feels so great. I was able to introduce a good couple to each other. Liz is in Florida and hasn't found anyone serious yet, but we go back a long time and know each other really well. Both of those girls are my sisters of the heart. I'm so lucky to have such great friends in them.
I am happy. I am in love. I am faithful, compassionate, loyal, loving. I have a big heart when it comes to kids and animals. I am untrusting when it comes to men and don't get along that well with women. I'm shy around new people and am one of those people where you either love me or hate me, there really isn't middle ground. I love music of all kinds. I love to watch TV on DVD or on Netflix rather than watch commercials. I love hockey and football, teams being the Jersey Devils and the Washington Redskins. I love to read and have already read almost 30 books this year alone (and it's only March 8th). I love to knit from time to time and I love to take pictures and edit them. I love to spend time with my family and I love to cuddle with my pets. I love when my husband takes me to dinner and I love when we all go out together. I love when everything is going good and nothing is going wrong.
And most of all, right now I just am happy to be alive, despite the stress... Sometimes I have to go over the past couple of years to see how great my life really is... I'm a lucky girl.
Love,
Leah
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Leap Day Blessings
Today is February 29th, 2012. A leap year. Today is the day that happens only once every four years. I've been thinking alot today... about what has happened in my life since the last leap year and why I am so very blessed to be alive and have what I have. After all, not everyone is so lucky.
*~* I have an amazing husband, who is so supportive of me and my dreams. He's a great husband, who takes care of me when I'm sick, spoils me to make me smile and loves me unconditionally. He's a great father, who is content raising two kids that aren't his biologically but are his in heart. He's such a great soldier, who accomplishes so much and is willing to do so much for his Country. And he's such an intelligent man, graduating with his Master's degree, getting his second in a year's time. I'm so proud of the man he is and so lucky that he is mine.
*~* I have two beautiful children: Lily and Jax, who are my whole world and show me the beautiful things in life every day. They are gorgeous and smart and so funny and kind. They protect each other and love each other. They love me and they love their Daddy. We are so lucky to have healthy children who have a future full of amazing possibilities in front of them.
*~* I have a home, with comfortable and nice furniture, plenty of food in the fridge, modern technology that is so amazing, clothes to wear and a vehicle to drive. I've been homeless before. I've had times where I starved so I could feed my children and clothing came from the donation bin at the salvation army. And I've had no vehicle several times. Life is so much better with all of that.
*~* I have a beautiful kitty who loves us and wants to show us love almost all the time. She's cute and sweet and the perfect cat.
*~* I have great friends who I talk to regularly, and some that I talk to occasionally. But if it weren't for my girls, Megan and Liz, I think I would go crazy not being able to talk to the two girls who know me best and who I love most.
*~* I have my Gram, who is an amazingly strong woman that I aspire to be like. She's been through so much and is strong and opinionated and wonderful. She's an inspiration in my life.
*~* I have Recruited ByLove, my support site that allows me to talk to so many amazing ladies and gents. They truly take my breath away with their strength and courage and they are so respectful (most of them, anyways) to each other and have such adult conversations. It makes me proud to know them all and to be expanding on it.
*~* I have fun toys, like my laptop, my tv, my game systems, my kindles, my phone, my camera... I am so blessed to have things that I can play with and enjoy.
*~* That my kids can participate in activities like Soccer and Dance class. It's nice to be able to send them to do things for fun, to make friends and to learn skills like team work and becoming their own person. It's so awesome to see how my kids are expanding with each passing moment.
*~* That we are getting a puppy soon. We've discussed it and have decided to adopt either a Mastiff or a Boxer puppy in May or June. We've even found two breeders (one of each breed). We had previously adopted from a shelter but after paying $1400 for a dog that died within a week and a half of bringing it home, we decided we'd rather go with a breeder this time and get a dog that we can train from puppy up and one that has papers that we can breed. :) I'm hoping to get a male mastiff and call him "Midas"
*~* That I've gotten all my dental work done (or will as of Monday) and won't have to worry about it after that except for maintaining. I never went to the dentist as a kid and it's so nice to finally feel better about myself.
*~* That I'm not getting abused in any way, shape or form. I was abused as a child by my mother. She tried to kill me and hurt me in any way she could, whether it was mentally, emotionally or physically. Our relationship ended completely when she aimed a shotgun at my head and we haven't spoken in a year. It's been a great year.
*~* That I have my Father's memory to carry with me. I am lucky to have had such an amazing father in my life. The fact that he's now passed away and I don't get to spend anymore time with him truly does hurt but I am still happy that I can remember him and know that he'd be proud of me for all that I do.
*~* To be an Army wife and to have a husband who I am so proud of for all he does for our Country. I am proud to be his wife, his public face while he's deployed or not at home for whatever reason. I'm proud to be among the 2% of the population who sacrifices so much for our country, whether it's going to war and losing your life or getting injured or sacrificing time with your family or loved one in order to support his or her dreams. I feel I am blessed to be part of this community and culture.
*~* I am blessed to have healthcare and dental insurance. It's so great to not worry about the cost of my prescriptions or seeing a doctor and having a huge medical bill. I'm so lucky that I can schedule my children for shots or physicals, that I can go to the Emergency room and not face horrendous fees for anything. It's so nice to have that worry off my mind.
I am probably blessed for so many other things that I can't think of right now, but I wanted to acknowledge what I could today, a leap day, a special day to say what matters most in your life and that's what matters most to me. My family, my cat, my life, their lives... it all matters to me.
Love,
Leah
Thursday, January 12, 2012
My daughter's 5th Birthday
Today is my daughter's birthday. She's 5 years old!! I can't believe it. Five years changes alot. Five years ago, the day she was born, which was right about now, I couldn't imagine more pain and more love being in my heart. I remember the day perfectly, although I don't like to much because my ex taints the day for me. He was there (props for him). All these years, have passed and I feel like each day she's someone different.
The people at daycare (CDC) love her. She's well behaved and listens to the adults when they tell her what to do. She's there today, because I'm still resting from my back procedure (it's been a hell of a day full of soarness and some pain). After that, Steve is picking them up and bringing them home to get Lily dressed for dance class, then she's off to dance class. When she gets home, she'll have speghetti and meatballs for dinner, cupcakes for dessert, a couple small presents (since she has a party on Saturday).
After that, however, I'm going back to bed. I'm exhausted and way too soar. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to slowly get my normal routine back, except that the kids have dental appointments in Alexandria. I'm going to buy my dress for the Sweetheart ball. I'm hoping for something sweet and red (I have mostly summer dresses and green or grey dresses that I wear to FRG functions). I'm excited to find a good dress. I just hope the car ride doesn't kill me. It's an hour there and back, with lots of walking...
But like I said, this is my daughter's fifth birthday... and she's my miracle baby. Her brother is just an additional gift (which Steve got the first official "oh you're Jaxon's dad, we need to talk" yesterday, haha).
I'm just grateful for the life we have now... for my baby girl and my baby boy and my husband, my hero...
Happy 5th Birthday, Baby Girl... Lily, my most beautiful flower in the world. <3 xoxoxoxox
PS. Loving my kindle... Just finished the "Laughing Corpse" by Laurell K. Hamilton and now on to her next book "The Circus of the Damned"
PSS. Love the kindle fire too. I am streaming video on it right now while I read... bedrest has never been this good. :)
The people at daycare (CDC) love her. She's well behaved and listens to the adults when they tell her what to do. She's there today, because I'm still resting from my back procedure (it's been a hell of a day full of soarness and some pain). After that, Steve is picking them up and bringing them home to get Lily dressed for dance class, then she's off to dance class. When she gets home, she'll have speghetti and meatballs for dinner, cupcakes for dessert, a couple small presents (since she has a party on Saturday).
After that, however, I'm going back to bed. I'm exhausted and way too soar. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to slowly get my normal routine back, except that the kids have dental appointments in Alexandria. I'm going to buy my dress for the Sweetheart ball. I'm hoping for something sweet and red (I have mostly summer dresses and green or grey dresses that I wear to FRG functions). I'm excited to find a good dress. I just hope the car ride doesn't kill me. It's an hour there and back, with lots of walking...
But like I said, this is my daughter's fifth birthday... and she's my miracle baby. Her brother is just an additional gift (which Steve got the first official "oh you're Jaxon's dad, we need to talk" yesterday, haha).
I'm just grateful for the life we have now... for my baby girl and my baby boy and my husband, my hero...
PS. Loving my kindle... Just finished the "Laughing Corpse" by Laurell K. Hamilton and now on to her next book "The Circus of the Damned"
PSS. Love the kindle fire too. I am streaming video on it right now while I read... bedrest has never been this good. :)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
frustrated days
Sometimes you just don't want to remember the times where you are surrounded by idiots, whether they be government officials or doctors or just plain out shop employees in the px.
But sometimes you should remember the people in those days that keep you that one or two steps from total homicidal rage taking place. Today, I have to thank my husband, for being who he is, taking my son to orientation and letting me stay home and sleep. The lady at the shopette who wished me well as I bought a pack of cigarettes at 430 in the morning after spending 4 useless hours in the e.r. based on them telling me to come in. The doctor I saw today who answered all of my questions completely and made sure I had what I needed before I left his office. The lady in the bjach parking lot with a lighter who made me laugh and let me vent to her about my day and told me "god bless you" as we parted. My daughter for not complaining when I put on a movie (a kids movie) I wanted to watch but that she had little interest in. My friends who have wished me luck for tomorrow's procedure on my back, the prayers my family is offering for the same. All these people kept me from being that total wreck of a person who was very close to shanking anyone who pissed me off next.
I now have a doc at bjach I actually like and have already scheduled my follow up with him because the rest seem to care very little about the quality of.care and even less about answering my many questions. He was concerned about both.
I have my appt to get the spinal injections in 12 hours and if I had the energy, I am sure I would be terrified. Wait til tomorrow, I probably will be both terrified and in pain.
As of now, I am waiting for my sleep aids to kick in and send me to la la land with dreams of unknown spoils or spooks. Until then, stand up comedy and my kindle app on my phone will help a lot.
Love,
For now & forever,
Leah
Ps. Heard this and had to laugh since I am bipolar...
Someone said "Omg you're bipolar, that's terrible." And I said, "yes but only half the time."
But sometimes you should remember the people in those days that keep you that one or two steps from total homicidal rage taking place. Today, I have to thank my husband, for being who he is, taking my son to orientation and letting me stay home and sleep. The lady at the shopette who wished me well as I bought a pack of cigarettes at 430 in the morning after spending 4 useless hours in the e.r. based on them telling me to come in. The doctor I saw today who answered all of my questions completely and made sure I had what I needed before I left his office. The lady in the bjach parking lot with a lighter who made me laugh and let me vent to her about my day and told me "god bless you" as we parted. My daughter for not complaining when I put on a movie (a kids movie) I wanted to watch but that she had little interest in. My friends who have wished me luck for tomorrow's procedure on my back, the prayers my family is offering for the same. All these people kept me from being that total wreck of a person who was very close to shanking anyone who pissed me off next.
I now have a doc at bjach I actually like and have already scheduled my follow up with him because the rest seem to care very little about the quality of.care and even less about answering my many questions. He was concerned about both.
I have my appt to get the spinal injections in 12 hours and if I had the energy, I am sure I would be terrified. Wait til tomorrow, I probably will be both terrified and in pain.
As of now, I am waiting for my sleep aids to kick in and send me to la la land with dreams of unknown spoils or spooks. Until then, stand up comedy and my kindle app on my phone will help a lot.
Love,
For now & forever,
Leah
Ps. Heard this and had to laugh since I am bipolar...
Someone said "Omg you're bipolar, that's terrible." And I said, "yes but only half the time."
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Monday, January 9, 2012
Pissed off pain
For the second time in three days, I've woken up in massive pain. This time, I was laying on my stomach with my arms folded under my head and one arm was completely dead of feeling and the other was hurting so badly. I woke up crying and when I sat up, I couldn't move my arm at all. I just sat there trying to get circulation back into my arm and it took about five minutes before I could even move it. Now I can move it and I've taken my pain pills, just waiting for them to kick in.
I just went outside for a smoke and checked facebook, found out my friend is in labor, which makes me happy for her but jealous at the same time. I'm not even healthy enough yet to get pregnant, let alone have a baby. I'm trying to get into shape but I need this procedure on my back and another few things to do before I'll be ready. Hoping that means by September, I'll be ready... I'm happy for her, I really am, but the jealousy and the baby itch are also equal to my happiness. I wish her all the best, of course. I just wish I was in her shoes instead of mine.
So 3:30 am and my arms hurt, my shoulders hurt and none of my muscles hurt which means that it's not from my workout. When I workout, it's just to keep my muscles in strength and has nothing to do with helping my body out. But at 110lbs and five 2, you'd think I'd be in perfect shape, which honestly I feel like I am in pretty great shape except for my back and the other things... So damn annoying and makes me feel self-pitiful which I hate. I hate pity and I hate feeling sorry for myself. I like to look at the positive.
So here is the positive, I am married, I have two beautiful kids, I have good friends. I have reconnected with family and old friends. I run a page full of great women. I have a great kitten. A clean house with plenty of food and clothes in my closet. Lots of material possessions I never dreamed I'd own. And so much more.
And sadly, I'd trade almost all of that (except my family, husband and kids included, and friends and RBL) for a body healthy enough to have a baby.
Ugh, there's the self pity...
Love,
For now and forever,
Leah
I just went outside for a smoke and checked facebook, found out my friend is in labor, which makes me happy for her but jealous at the same time. I'm not even healthy enough yet to get pregnant, let alone have a baby. I'm trying to get into shape but I need this procedure on my back and another few things to do before I'll be ready. Hoping that means by September, I'll be ready... I'm happy for her, I really am, but the jealousy and the baby itch are also equal to my happiness. I wish her all the best, of course. I just wish I was in her shoes instead of mine.
So 3:30 am and my arms hurt, my shoulders hurt and none of my muscles hurt which means that it's not from my workout. When I workout, it's just to keep my muscles in strength and has nothing to do with helping my body out. But at 110lbs and five 2, you'd think I'd be in perfect shape, which honestly I feel like I am in pretty great shape except for my back and the other things... So damn annoying and makes me feel self-pitiful which I hate. I hate pity and I hate feeling sorry for myself. I like to look at the positive.
So here is the positive, I am married, I have two beautiful kids, I have good friends. I have reconnected with family and old friends. I run a page full of great women. I have a great kitten. A clean house with plenty of food and clothes in my closet. Lots of material possessions I never dreamed I'd own. And so much more.
And sadly, I'd trade almost all of that (except my family, husband and kids included, and friends and RBL) for a body healthy enough to have a baby.
Ugh, there's the self pity...
Love,
For now and forever,
Leah
Saturday, January 7, 2012
4am pain
I just woke up crying in pain from my right arm hurting and my left leg aching. Steve had to wake me up because it was so bad and I was crying. I don't even understand how I managed to hurt opposite sides. All I do know is that I am waiting for my pain killers to kick in and send me to sleep again.
I try to stay so positive these days, but the pain is making me bitchy and my attitude is strong and thriving. I keep trying to focus on the good things like Lily's first real party (got the cake ordered, party favors bought, snacks and activities planned), like the ladies on Recruited ByLove who make life so nice and keep things interesting, like how good life will be after the procedure is done, like our couples retreat Jan 19th, like how by September, Steve and I can start trying for a baby. All good things to look forward to, but my head is so focused on pain, I can't help it. I am short fused and in pain. Not a good combo.
So comedy and pain killers are my relief. And avoiding people this weekend. I am just glad its only a few more days.
I love my husband, my children and my cat. So I need to be back in full health.
I try to stay so positive these days, but the pain is making me bitchy and my attitude is strong and thriving. I keep trying to focus on the good things like Lily's first real party (got the cake ordered, party favors bought, snacks and activities planned), like the ladies on Recruited ByLove who make life so nice and keep things interesting, like how good life will be after the procedure is done, like our couples retreat Jan 19th, like how by September, Steve and I can start trying for a baby. All good things to look forward to, but my head is so focused on pain, I can't help it. I am short fused and in pain. Not a good combo.
So comedy and pain killers are my relief. And avoiding people this weekend. I am just glad its only a few more days.
I love my husband, my children and my cat. So I need to be back in full health.
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Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Day 3
So It's another day of 2012. So far today was pretty good. Steve had half day which was awesome because we were able to hit the commissary and I was able to clean up my kitchen and laundry room, get the kids officially signed up for CYS (yes, they have it now) and Jax signed up for soccer practice!!!!
So between all that, I have Lily's doctor appointment tomorrow with the Specialist. I also have to call immunizations and make sure they get their Hep A shots scheduled so Jax can play soccer.
After that I have a free day, Wednesday, which just means that i have the kids all day and that always means laundry and cleaning.
Thursday is Lily's first Dance class and the Gym.
It's next week that the big stuff happens. I have Physical Therapy on Monday, a doctor appointment on Tuesday and the kids have a dental appointment on Friday. Plus Lily turns 5!!!!!! on Thursday!!!
I'm super excited!!! Anyways, I'm pooped out and my son keeps crawling out of bed. Duty calls.
Love,
For now and Forever,
Leah
So between all that, I have Lily's doctor appointment tomorrow with the Specialist. I also have to call immunizations and make sure they get their Hep A shots scheduled so Jax can play soccer.
After that I have a free day, Wednesday, which just means that i have the kids all day and that always means laundry and cleaning.
Thursday is Lily's first Dance class and the Gym.
It's next week that the big stuff happens. I have Physical Therapy on Monday, a doctor appointment on Tuesday and the kids have a dental appointment on Friday. Plus Lily turns 5!!!!!! on Thursday!!!
I'm super excited!!! Anyways, I'm pooped out and my son keeps crawling out of bed. Duty calls.
Love,
For now and Forever,
Leah
Monday, January 2, 2012
Day One of 2012
Life is so busy and 2012 has not made it any less so. I have been spending the night cleaning the house...
Trying to get the 2011 clutter cleared out. I have made so much progress.
I cleaned the bathroom tonight, taking care of my husband and kids' empty shampoo and soap bottles and picking up the bath toys and putting them into their bins, reorganizing the medicine cabinet.
Then there is the livingroom, where I rearranged the room to make space for my Wii and my exercise area. I must have spent about 400 dollars on everything I need to work out. From Zumba for the Wii to the clothes for the gym and my pilates/yoga mat and all the accessories for that. My plan is to get in such great shape that when I get pregnant, I can keep exercising and have an easy pregnancy and delivery.
The kitchen is my next stop. I have to clear the table and make sure that I get that all taken care of.
In addition to all that, I've been planning Lily's 5th birthday party. It's Hello Kitty themed and I have already gotten most of the invites filled out and ready to be mailed out. I'm excited for her. I never had many birthday parties and am so excited to have her party. We are going to do cake, presents and play with the Wii. She doesn't really understand yet but she keeps walking around the house saying "I'm four, almost five and I'm going to have a party for me." I'm glad she's excited and through her party I will get to know more of the mom's in the area. Sadly it will only last about four months until we PCS to Missouri.
I have been reading a great book though called "A Game of Thrones" by George R.R. Martin (it's the first book of a series, the one based on the TV show.) I am just trying to keep a balanced life.
Between my kids schedules and my husband's, I have such a busy life that working out and reading are my time. I'm pulling an all nighter to clean the house and make sure that I get a little me time. It's great when the house is silent and I get to watch whatever I want to and all that. I am planning to do a little Zumba later... My husband promised to take the kids to Catfish Cove tomorrow so I can sleep.
I love my life. I love how busy it is, even with the kids and the hubby and the FRG and all the doctor appointments and the dentists and dance classes (Starting thursday) and birthday parties and play dates and friends... It's a busy life but it's worth it. This is my life, the life of an Army wife and I'm damn proud to be one.
The only negative thing that happened was my biological father chose to block me out of my sisters' lives because I won't call him Dad. I had a Dad, a wonderful one, who raised me and taught me how to live. I like to say he never told me how to live, he simply lived and let me watch him do it. I learned so much from him and I can't consider the man who abandoned me for a new family my father. He's a biological father, a sperm donor but they are my sisters regardless. And I want to know them, but he is preventing that. Oh well. Anyways, that was my only negative thought of the day.
The positives include starting the New Year with amazing happy thoughts. I am excited for 2012. :)
Love,
For Now and Forever,
Leah
Trying to get the 2011 clutter cleared out. I have made so much progress.
I cleaned the bathroom tonight, taking care of my husband and kids' empty shampoo and soap bottles and picking up the bath toys and putting them into their bins, reorganizing the medicine cabinet.
Then there is the livingroom, where I rearranged the room to make space for my Wii and my exercise area. I must have spent about 400 dollars on everything I need to work out. From Zumba for the Wii to the clothes for the gym and my pilates/yoga mat and all the accessories for that. My plan is to get in such great shape that when I get pregnant, I can keep exercising and have an easy pregnancy and delivery.
The kitchen is my next stop. I have to clear the table and make sure that I get that all taken care of.
In addition to all that, I've been planning Lily's 5th birthday party. It's Hello Kitty themed and I have already gotten most of the invites filled out and ready to be mailed out. I'm excited for her. I never had many birthday parties and am so excited to have her party. We are going to do cake, presents and play with the Wii. She doesn't really understand yet but she keeps walking around the house saying "I'm four, almost five and I'm going to have a party for me." I'm glad she's excited and through her party I will get to know more of the mom's in the area. Sadly it will only last about four months until we PCS to Missouri.
I have been reading a great book though called "A Game of Thrones" by George R.R. Martin (it's the first book of a series, the one based on the TV show.) I am just trying to keep a balanced life.
Between my kids schedules and my husband's, I have such a busy life that working out and reading are my time. I'm pulling an all nighter to clean the house and make sure that I get a little me time. It's great when the house is silent and I get to watch whatever I want to and all that. I am planning to do a little Zumba later... My husband promised to take the kids to Catfish Cove tomorrow so I can sleep.
I love my life. I love how busy it is, even with the kids and the hubby and the FRG and all the doctor appointments and the dentists and dance classes (Starting thursday) and birthday parties and play dates and friends... It's a busy life but it's worth it. This is my life, the life of an Army wife and I'm damn proud to be one.
The only negative thing that happened was my biological father chose to block me out of my sisters' lives because I won't call him Dad. I had a Dad, a wonderful one, who raised me and taught me how to live. I like to say he never told me how to live, he simply lived and let me watch him do it. I learned so much from him and I can't consider the man who abandoned me for a new family my father. He's a biological father, a sperm donor but they are my sisters regardless. And I want to know them, but he is preventing that. Oh well. Anyways, that was my only negative thought of the day.
The positives include starting the New Year with amazing happy thoughts. I am excited for 2012. :)
Love,
For Now and Forever,
Leah
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Good-Bye 2011
2011 is coming to an end. And this year, I can't help but count my blessings. I am married to a wonderful man, have two beautiful kids who are just the lights of my life, and a life that I never expected in a million years.
When Steve came home from deployment, I was the happiest I'd been in a long time. I thought that life couldn't get any better. I have my hero home. Safe and sound. I mean, when you talk about blessings that's the number one on my mind.
Then, after meeting his family, after realizing that I am not what they expected, and yet, still having him love me, to need me in his life, that was another blessing I didn't see then, but I do see now.
Shortly after that, he proposed to me, and I had a wedding to plan. And second to my wedding day, that was the best day of my adult life without having childbirth involved.
And then on November 11th, I married my husband and became an officer's wife. I woke up the next morning to being a wife, to having a husband who is the love of my life. Who is a million and one things that I can't even begin to describe.
And now, being married, being an army wife... there are so many blessings. I have more now than I had before. I have a good life. Even my husband is worthy of pride. He received the bronze star. How could I not be a proud wife?
And my children, they love him so much. They see the uniform of the US Army and it reminds them that they have family everywhere. Aunt Becca, Aunt Catie, Uncle Campbell, Uncle Palmer... etc. The wives and the soldiers. To them, just like it was to me, they are all family.
Christmas was filled with joy and love and yes, lots of gifts. I was blessed more than I can even type. My children got a wonderful Daddy, who loves them. I have a husband who would do anything to see me smile, who overlooks my flaws to focus on my good qualities. To me, I won the man lottery. I found the best man and I am blessed.
So, it's time to say good-bye 2011... I look forward to what 2012 means.
When Steve came home from deployment, I was the happiest I'd been in a long time. I thought that life couldn't get any better. I have my hero home. Safe and sound. I mean, when you talk about blessings that's the number one on my mind.
Then, after meeting his family, after realizing that I am not what they expected, and yet, still having him love me, to need me in his life, that was another blessing I didn't see then, but I do see now.
Shortly after that, he proposed to me, and I had a wedding to plan. And second to my wedding day, that was the best day of my adult life without having childbirth involved.
And then on November 11th, I married my husband and became an officer's wife. I woke up the next morning to being a wife, to having a husband who is the love of my life. Who is a million and one things that I can't even begin to describe.
And now, being married, being an army wife... there are so many blessings. I have more now than I had before. I have a good life. Even my husband is worthy of pride. He received the bronze star. How could I not be a proud wife?
And my children, they love him so much. They see the uniform of the US Army and it reminds them that they have family everywhere. Aunt Becca, Aunt Catie, Uncle Campbell, Uncle Palmer... etc. The wives and the soldiers. To them, just like it was to me, they are all family.
Christmas was filled with joy and love and yes, lots of gifts. I was blessed more than I can even type. My children got a wonderful Daddy, who loves them. I have a husband who would do anything to see me smile, who overlooks my flaws to focus on my good qualities. To me, I won the man lottery. I found the best man and I am blessed.
So, it's time to say good-bye 2011... I look forward to what 2012 means.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Operation Iraqi Freedom... over.
The Iraq war is over. I've been thinking about it, trying to understand how I feel, trying to process the past 8 years in a way that conveys how much was lost compared to how little I feel was gained.
My father fought in the first Gulf War. And as I grew up, he went other places, but for some reason I never thought about it. He was one of the first in Afghanistan and went to Iraq for OIF as well. My friends died in Iraq, I lost so many people I loved there. I worked at LRMC, watching Vets suffer from so many different wounds and causes. I wondered how to keep strong then and now, I wonder how to validate all the costs versus the rewards. Are there any rewards when we leave a war as if we never did anything at all?
Yes, we got some justice for the people of Iraq who were persecuted and killed relentlessly by Saddam. And yes, we captured alot of insurgents and put them away, allowing a new government to form in it's place, mildly corrupt versus the outlandishly corrupt one that stood before. Yes, we built schools, roads, hospitals, gave the Iraqi people more freedom than they had known in Saddam's time. I just wonder for the American men and women who served and died, what did we gain? People claimed we fought for oil but, like most conspiracies, that one died on it's own path. They claimed we were the corrupt ones and we weren't. People protested the wars and the funerals of our Soldiers and Marines, Sailors and Airmen. People wasted their right to freedom and abused it by slandering the names of the men and women, blaming them for the war in the first place.
I have always said if you disagree with war, you should still support the men and women fighting it. They didn't choose a war to start but they sure as hell were going to fight to win. I just wonder where the win is, if there is any at all. It's a solemn feeling, remembering those that died in combat and those that came home and died by their own hand due to the PTSD they suffered from unseen war wounds. I pray it's worth it.
Even Steve wonders if it was worth everything. We talked about it and both of us feel this uneasy feeling about leaving. Hoping we didn't leave too soon, hoping the evil doesn't sprout from the ground where good men fought and died. Hoping that the loss of life is worth the freedom for the children that will grow up there. Will they know how much we fought for? Will the Iraqi people forgive us for our wrongdoings, when we obviously are not perfect, and thank us for our actions that were just and mighty? So many questions still linger as there is no longer a war in Iraq to fight. So many possibilities, bad and good, fill a future that no one can know.
As I think about the loss and the ending of a war, I hope you remember the Troops who fought in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Whatever happens, remember them and their families. This War cost more than just money, it cost lives and it cost people innocence. Children grew up faster because their fathers went to war, Children became adults when they recieved the news from the Military that their loved one was dead. Wives became widows, husbands became widowers. Mothers and fathers became childless. Pets became ownerless. That's the true cost of war. Please remember them.
My father fought in the first Gulf War. And as I grew up, he went other places, but for some reason I never thought about it. He was one of the first in Afghanistan and went to Iraq for OIF as well. My friends died in Iraq, I lost so many people I loved there. I worked at LRMC, watching Vets suffer from so many different wounds and causes. I wondered how to keep strong then and now, I wonder how to validate all the costs versus the rewards. Are there any rewards when we leave a war as if we never did anything at all?
Yes, we got some justice for the people of Iraq who were persecuted and killed relentlessly by Saddam. And yes, we captured alot of insurgents and put them away, allowing a new government to form in it's place, mildly corrupt versus the outlandishly corrupt one that stood before. Yes, we built schools, roads, hospitals, gave the Iraqi people more freedom than they had known in Saddam's time. I just wonder for the American men and women who served and died, what did we gain? People claimed we fought for oil but, like most conspiracies, that one died on it's own path. They claimed we were the corrupt ones and we weren't. People protested the wars and the funerals of our Soldiers and Marines, Sailors and Airmen. People wasted their right to freedom and abused it by slandering the names of the men and women, blaming them for the war in the first place.
I have always said if you disagree with war, you should still support the men and women fighting it. They didn't choose a war to start but they sure as hell were going to fight to win. I just wonder where the win is, if there is any at all. It's a solemn feeling, remembering those that died in combat and those that came home and died by their own hand due to the PTSD they suffered from unseen war wounds. I pray it's worth it.
Even Steve wonders if it was worth everything. We talked about it and both of us feel this uneasy feeling about leaving. Hoping we didn't leave too soon, hoping the evil doesn't sprout from the ground where good men fought and died. Hoping that the loss of life is worth the freedom for the children that will grow up there. Will they know how much we fought for? Will the Iraqi people forgive us for our wrongdoings, when we obviously are not perfect, and thank us for our actions that were just and mighty? So many questions still linger as there is no longer a war in Iraq to fight. So many possibilities, bad and good, fill a future that no one can know.
As I think about the loss and the ending of a war, I hope you remember the Troops who fought in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Whatever happens, remember them and their families. This War cost more than just money, it cost lives and it cost people innocence. Children grew up faster because their fathers went to war, Children became adults when they recieved the news from the Military that their loved one was dead. Wives became widows, husbands became widowers. Mothers and fathers became childless. Pets became ownerless. That's the true cost of war. Please remember them.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanks is more than giving.
Today I went to the doctors and spent over two and a half hours there for what seemed to be a half hour appointment when I booked it. I was there about my back. In Dec of 08, I had hyper-extended The right half of my back, including dislocation of my shoulder. Today was the first time I was taken for xrays. I had to get a shot of steroids in my butt prior to this and then go so I was in pain from the shot hitting a nerve. I ended up having around 15 xrays taken from my lower back to my neck. That will tell them where all damage was and still might be. I did get a couple pain relievers until my next visit which is great. The only problem is they do more to make me tired than to relieve pain. I am just glad something will be done. Already the army has stepped up when the civilian doctors did nothing at all.
Tomorrow is thanksgiving and we are going to Texas to visit Steve's sister. We are leaving later today and driving over where we booked a hotel and then will spend the holiday with her. We are not overly excited but I am told it will be a good time. I sincerely hope so because to be honest I am not looking forward to it.
The things I am thankful for are huge. I am thankful my husband came home from Afghanistan, that we were both engaged and married this year, that my children were given an amazing father and so many more things that my tired mind thinks of but can't give justice to, such as my health, his health, our children's health, our family's happiness, our amazing friends and family, both chosen and blessed with. We are very lucky. I am lucky.
Love always,
For now & forever,
Leah
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Tomorrow is thanksgiving and we are going to Texas to visit Steve's sister. We are leaving later today and driving over where we booked a hotel and then will spend the holiday with her. We are not overly excited but I am told it will be a good time. I sincerely hope so because to be honest I am not looking forward to it.
The things I am thankful for are huge. I am thankful my husband came home from Afghanistan, that we were both engaged and married this year, that my children were given an amazing father and so many more things that my tired mind thinks of but can't give justice to, such as my health, his health, our children's health, our family's happiness, our amazing friends and family, both chosen and blessed with. We are very lucky. I am lucky.
Love always,
For now & forever,
Leah
Sent from my HTC Inspire™ 4G on AT&T
Sunday, October 30, 2011
My military life
I have really awesome friends. Becca and Pody are holding a dinner tonight for Catie and I. Our birthdays are very soon so they invited us over for a double birthday celebration. They are really awesome friends. We act like a family, a close-knit group that readily accepts a new person as one of their own.
I wish I could explain just how the military family works but there really aren't words. When you go through as much as we do, the friends and family of the servicemen and the servicemen themselves... you bond. You share a certain perspective on life and you share certain qualities. There are things that don't matter to us that matter to civilians and there are certain things that matter to us that a civilian would never even think about, because, let's face the facts, they will never have to endure them.
I was born a brat and lived as one for all of my youth, then I find a Soldier who I could't live without and I realize that my life was training for the next step. Being a brat is different than being a wife, however, being a wife is easier for me because I was a brat. If that makes sense. I know exactly what to expect, how this life works, how bonds are formed, how you can be one place one year and then a completely new place the next, forming the same sort of friendships you had in the previous location. Some people are good at that, some aren't. I consider myself lucky that I am able to find these amazing people, no matter where I am. The only time I have ever struggled was the time I spent in the civilian world, where everyone plays by their own rules, not conforming to a standard that respects the key values. For me, the military life is home. For me, that is where friends truly become family, where you become bonded with these people, like Becca and Pody, who make life seem better.
I think back to two years ago. I had just found out my father was dead and I was struggling to keep together a relationship that in my heart of hearts I knew wasn't going to work. But now, two years later, I am back home, I have an amazing relationship with the man, who in twelve days will be my husband, and friends who are as close in my heart as family. I know where I stand. It might sound absurd, but the Military offers more than people think. It's not just the hardships we endure that make us stronger, but it's the good times, the fact we celebrate life as much as possible, possibly because life, for us, is more fragile. There is more chance that the hardships could strike again and there is nothing we can do to stop it. So we celebrate... birthdays, weddings, holidays, any day, really. We go out in groups, we take care of each other, we care. In this life, that is all we can do to survive and make a life worth remembering. We try to forget the bad parts and focus on what we have to smile about. That is one of our key strengths. Our ability to survive.
Anyways, I'm going to go, but I just wanted to say how happy I am that this is my life again. How lucky I am to find my true love in this life. I wasn't living my life before. I am now.
For now and forever,
Leah
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