I get married on Friday. Just four short days away. I can hardly believe how quickly this month has flown by and yet, why should I be surprised? A year seemed to drag but when what I wanted was close by and I had to prepare, it flew.
I asked Steve if he was scared and he said no. He said there was nothing to be afraid of. I think I rely on his confidence and faith in us almost as much as I rely on my own thoughts. He is my everything and I think sometimes I get so scared he'll back away.
He's my best friend and the one man I want the world with. We are dorks together, we are lovers, we are great parents and great partners. When it comes to who I trust above all else, it's him. He makes me believe that I'll never be alone, I'll never have to worry. That through the years, all of our dreams will come true and I believe him.
It's just my fears come from "ghosts" in my past. Guys who didn't treat me well, guys who lied, cheated, broke my heart, hurt me, pushed me away and made me feel insignificant. The fact that I now have someone totally the opposite scares me more than having an idiot like that. Because Steve matters more, because he could hurt me more than anyone. The fact that he doesn't want to, the fact that he loves me, the fact that we are getting married... it all makes me feel.. safe.
So I sit here, next to my love as he sleeps and I think... four days... four days until I am his wife. <3
And I can't wait.
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