pain....

I can't stop this feeling, so alone with no distraction
All I have is what's inside, these dark black waves that wash over me
My tears run down my cheeks, like razor blades in my heart
I thought I was invincible once, now I know I'm not
I'm vulnerable, it seems impossible I ever felt I was strong enough
And I'm the one to blame, I cry, shaken by this pain
I just want to crawl inside my bed and throw away this life I had
Nothing ever seems to change, nothing takes this pain away from me
I'm broken, empty, abandoned, why am I so alone?
I'm half alive, but half dead, I could go either way
I don't know how I became like this, it's getting harder to breathe
I should have known it wasn't real before, I believed all the lies called promises
I'm trying so hard not to give into the void, the abyss that calls my name
I would give my whole life for a moment of peace, just five minutes of love
I used to know how to live, now I can't remember what came before
All these lies have torn me apart, I can't believe anything that seems like hope
The ghosts from my past, their voices still haunt me, I can't forget
All their words still taunt me, everything they said about me imbedded in my head
I want to run and hide from this cold I feel inside
I don't know what to do, I can't believe in a love that's true
Maybe I'm just jaded and can't distinguish after all I've been through
They broke me down, messed me up, toyed with my mind, left me here to die
I don't know where I stand, if I'm even standing at all.
All these memories confound me, I don't know how to cope
So here I am, alone again, in this night under these stars
Light me on fire and let me burn until I'm gone, anything to get over this.