dear, dear diary

dear, dear diary,my darkened book of blackened scars, the confessor of my sins
inside something has possessed me, there's something burning beneath my skin
In a blind moment of deep clarity, on this cold, autumn midnight,
the ink from my pen flows like an open vein from scars that never heal
the spirals and swirls, the loops and lines, a nearly unbroken journey with myself
stars twinkle in the sky, the same stars I've always known but in places new to me
the cobwebbed patterns of a twisted past repeated, the lifeline holding me together
the winding path of my heart, the fragile stepping stones of my thoughts,
my mind's a mile high in a tattooed dream, exploring a connection in between
a ghost from my past reminds me of who i was before the wreckage of this life
before the story unfolded and all control was lost, a black and white memory
old forgotten photographs gather dust, bleached by the sun, faded by the days
a glimpse of a lost youth and innocence, a recollection of the time before
so much has transformed yet something feels the same, something hasn't changed
staring at the heavens with its legendary heros and kings,
like a child pleading for his mother, my voice calls out to Him,
the warrior of legend, Orion, the heroic lead in my youthful fantasies
instead a face appears in my murky present, an inspired gothic daydream
out of the foggy mirage, a black-cloaked being steps into the pale starlight
Too darkly handsome to deny, a perfect arcane beauty, mysterious and wicked
He's awakened something within me, a notion that led to this introspection
He's a danger that haunts me with the painted mask of a perfect angel
A strong pull on a fragile thread of the bond between us
His eyes, his face, his voice, an dangerously angelic combination
I pray for salvation, a chance for redemption, a sign of something real,
anxious to achieve some meaning, some purpose yet hidden to me
the dark diamond blanket above me offers little comfort or security
the crisp air nips at my exposed skin, my funeral gown offers little warmth
A divine messenger, the reason I needed to believe, to hope again
the past, the future, now, this is some connection, a definate reaction
a thousand miles from where I started, a million miles to my dreams
a light at the end of the tunnel, the meaning of my life, the answer, found
the bells ring, someone has died, somehow I feel more alive
A haunting dream of an archangel, a soldier for the truest love,
I reach out in the dark for understanding, reason for these symptoms
dear, dear diary, companion to my dreams, this window to my heart
with these words, my strength renewed and hope rekindled, I know our bond survives
brief is the life that we live, the time we're allowed to stay,
Undoubtedly I yearn, I hope, I pray for the captivating archaic angel
to return to me, if only in a dream, love and romance me
Close my eyes and feel his wings wrap over me, angel of strength
I shut my precious book, put down my pen, fall asleep to pretend.